oooh, i like this a lot! you have great metaphors and radical imagery! i kind of sung it, but it was difficult without much of a structure. that's not a bad thing, it was still awesome. but yeah, i sung it as some kind of cross between the arcade fire and the pixies. heh. anyway, maybe it's just the spacing, but i loved the akward flow of this. ...yes, i'm definately impressed, i can't think of anything really interesting to say...it was just really good. the only thing i can think of is that maybe it had a little to much context at parts. like, maybe it could've been even more vague. i can't think of a specific example, just in general. don't change this at all.