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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Tinglesdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Localfreak
    ASL Info:    37, Maybe, Here
    Elite Ratio:    5.37 - 131/123/76
    Words: 144
    Class/Type: Poetry/Nature
    Total Views: 799
    Average Vote:    4.5000
    Bytes: 1034



    Description:
       This is the culmination of a lesson I was asked to perform.
    As is getting to be a habit now it was written by me and my fiancée together



    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsTinglesdots
    -------------------------------------------




    Sharp light, from a solitary lamppost
    cuts through the haze, to dispel itself upon crystal coated pavement
    Residue, of the once presiding storm.

    Shadow battles shine upon crumbling brickwork,
    Succumbing finally to the limp glow from above
    And receding into the safety of deeper crevice

    Droplets line up single file,
    Eager to merge with siblings and leap from eves and cills,
    While trees gather,silently and disperse the storms bounty from their boughs.

    Humidity, broken by a still chill
    Encompasses all in it's stillness, dampening accustomed conversations of the nocturnal
    Muting all but the gentle rush of water through grate

    Intrigued and with gathered interest,
    Stars peek through softened windows of nimbi, at the serenity cast in rainfall,
    desperate to add their glimmer to the scene below.

    The calm beyond the storm

    ::Local & Toxic::




    Submitted on 2007-09-09 07:16:06     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      My but you have done a wonderful job of painting the mental image of the post storm calmness. I may be wrong but I do believe that in line #2 of stanza #3 you actually meant to use the words "sills" rather than "cills". If I am wrong just ignore me.
    | Posted on 2007-09-13 00:00:00 | by ErgoIgo | [ Reply to This ]
      i like the way this sounds
    just spiffy...wish i had more to say
    i just cant think of anything else to say on this, besides i like it, and i like the way it sounds in my head

    xoxo
    | Posted on 2007-09-10 00:00:00 | by blu_kittin | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

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    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    149212

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

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