Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: always the best friend and never the girlfrienddots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: black rose13
    ASL Info:    16/f/where do I live?
    Elite Ratio:    1.35 - 137/97/39
    Words: 180
    Class/Type: Poetry/Longing
    Total Views: 683
    Average Vote:    3.0000
    Bytes: 1052



    Description:
       this is just how ive been feeling for a while now. and i just had to get it out.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsalways the best friend and never the girlfrienddots
    -------------------------------------------


    What do I have to do to make you proud?
    Just to try to get your attention I scream aloud.
    But all the screaming I do doesnt seem to make you move.

    What can i do to impress you?
    I sing my heart out.
    But all the you do is scream and shout.

    All these questions run through my head.
    Like a nightmare never ending.
    Are you really that blind to see that something perfect has been staring right at you?

    What do you see in her?
    She's a whore and nothing more.
    But then again i guess thats what you go for.

    How can you fall for her?
    All she ever did was use you and break your heart.
    But i know I'll always be the best friend and never the girlfriend.

    All these questions run through my mind.
    Like a nightmare never ending.
    Are you really that blind to see that something perfect has been staring right at you.
    But I know I'll always be the best friend and never the girlfriend.




    Submitted on 2007-09-09 08:13:24     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      i dont get 'him' at all

    he acts like he likes you he just wont admit it ohhh myy goodness



    i still love you and dont forget what i said

    u can convert ahahahaha

    ily
    | Posted on 2007-09-12 00:00:00 | by truthbetold | [ Reply to This ]
      Yes nice poem, I know what you mean! Maybe edit the 6th line. I think you could have went deeper into the situation, if you know what I mean. But I think it is still very good. I enjoyed it alot.
    | Posted on 2007-09-10 00:00:00 | by DeVille_85 | [ Reply to This ]
       Good piece but very general. Girl likes guy/guy likes girl but its never noticed. I would have poured more detail into it. But all in all a good poem.
    | Posted on 2007-09-09 00:00:00 | by Hazy skies | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    149213

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Delicious Stews written by elephantasia
    Gaia written by endlessgame23
    Things They (Don't) Say written by TheStillSilence
    A Sense Of Things written by Daniel Barlow
    untitled written by Outlaw
    Snippet written by Daniel Barlow
    A Worsening Effect written by Daniel Barlow
    Mystery Read written by kyserin
    When Sirens Whisper written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Honeymoon written by TheStillSilence
    Lost Inside the Race written by ForgottenGraves
    FamiliarDemons ©™ written by kyserin
    Whispered written by endlessgame23
    Lie back & tan written by Daniel Barlow
    Adoration written by TheStillSilence
    Dream written by closetpoet
    Starseed written by endlessgame23
    None the Wiser written by endlessgame23
    Keep written by TheStillSilence
    Relentless. The Visceral Fracture. written by Daniel Barlow
    Day 5 written by TheStillSilence
    Beauty Rest written by jackz
    The Curtain Call written by faideddarkness
    Across the bed written by expiring_touch
    Deep written by Janesaddiction
    Compartments written by TheStillSilence
    Live In Between written by teika5
    Rooted in Nature written by Chelebel
    To the Artist written by HisNameIsNoMore
    A bit of Pain written by teika5

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry