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    dots Submission Name: deliberate mirage (pt 10)dots

    Author: freeradical
    ASL Info:    22/feline/london
    Elite Ratio:    5.26 - 311/405/63
    Words: 236
    Class/Type: Poetry/Passion
    Total Views: 1651
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1714

       Part One: she smells of sex ~freeradical
    Part Two: he smells of sweat ~JDNeverrest
    Part Three: endothermic ~JDNeverrest
    Part Four: sparkle ~freeradical
    Part Five: wearing red ~JDNeverrest
    Part Six: appartment 12 ~freeradical
    Part Seven: seeing red ~JDNeverrest
    Part Eight: beautiful sin ~freeradical
    Part Nine: what's yours? ~ JDNeverrest
    Part Ten: deliberate mirage ~ freeradical

    Chi∑me∑ra also Chi∑mae∑ra ( P ) Pronunciation Key (k-mÓr, k-)
    Greek Mythology. A fire-breathing she-monster usually represented as a composite of a lion, goat, and serpent; A fanciful mental illusion or fabrication.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsdeliberate mirage (pt 10)dots

    this is the deliberate mirage
    of hands blurred through movement
    and bodies stilled
    in static appreciation
    (frissons of electricity just
    passing through).

    he traces ash along the scars
    and fire-kisses consume
    my soul.
    licking and crackling while
    fresh coats of whitewash
    go unnoticed.

    enough. i pull away.

    he has me pressed against the wall
    and my body screams that
    violated space was never so

    is it sacrilegious for souls to collide?

    eventual conclusion will be reached
    and thought will be forgotten,
    but for now
    sanity tempts with rational needs.

    a name.
    (what is in a name?)
    it seems extraordinary
    that the figment of my imagination
    has now taken on a life
    of his own.

    here i've captured a fire-bird
    of my very own,
    but will the caged bird
    still singe?

    wind myself around his body
    and breathe him in
    while his hair stands on end
    and goosebumps beg for kisses.

    tell him everything with my mouth
    and nothing with my voice,
    except that i never want him to




    moonlight through window
    knows my secret,
    and i hush the man on the moon
    with a kiss blown
    as i quietly slip out,
    and leave apartment 12 behind.

    leave myself behind.

    save a note, with one word-


    Submitted on 2004-06-21 10:50:52     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      Wow. SO INCREDIBLY POWERFUL. I read through that SO FAST, just waiting for the ending, and then I had to go and read it 2 or 3 more times!

    I believed every word of it. I saw it all and I felt it all and it was great. I know I sound SOOO cheesy and stupid, but it's true! I was totally sucked in and taken aback by your words. I need to go delete a favorite so I can add this one.

    "A name- what is in a name? A rose would still smell as sweetly if it were called by any other name!" ~~~ Romeo and Juliet
    Sorry, I couldn't resist-- I just hope I quoted it close enough to right!
    | Posted on 2004-06-25 00:00:00 | by mixedemotions00 | [ Reply to This ]
      ...and the beat goes on.
    Doesn't it.
    It's in a language that's perfectly understandable but with enough hidden to make it worth the effort to imagine.
    And that's its essential strength - imaginings are pivotal poetic devices and this has them.
    For those that can.
    And will.
    Took my fill of contradictory images.
    | Posted on 2004-06-23 00:00:00 | by Awkward | [ Reply to This ]
      moonlight through window
    knows my secret,
    and i hush the man on the moon
    with a kiss blown
    as i quietly slip out,
    and leave apartment 12 behind.

    this is what i love about your writing. the tense mystery surrounding what you're really saying.

    phoenix and chimera. luckily, i have seen MI:2 recently so i sorta know who that is. bodes well for more interesting tangoes between the two of you. can't wait!

    | Posted on 2004-06-22 00:00:00 | by blueorchids | [ Reply to This ]
      This is amazing ! The first stanza is really great. Then the whole piece flows really good and then it reaches this part.



    I was like whooo I loved this part the most.
    The ending is really good too.
    Actually this whole piece is great.
    Good writing !
    | Posted on 2004-06-22 00:00:00 | by Paradox | [ Reply to This ]
      Chimera, eh? Hm... so we've got a chimera and a phoenix. Innnnnnnteresting! "will the caged bird still singe" was absolutely great. Very subtle...
    | Posted on 2004-06-21 00:00:00 | by Erchomenos | [ Reply to This ]

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