Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Part of Lifedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: mystic_angel
    Elite Ratio:    1.16 - 59/33/14
    Words: 117
    Class/Type: Poetry/
    Total Views: 578
    Average Vote:    5.0000
    Bytes: 739



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsPart of Lifedots
    -------------------------------------------


    When I read your words
    That you wrote the last
    My heart is stabbed
    That I'm now collapsed
    And wishes if you were here
    Standing by me near
    Escorting me in my journey
    That seems like eternity
    Loving you from far
    And seeing you like a shining star
    Make me wants to cry
    Because reaching you is so hard
    So I blame our destiny from separating us
    That broke the promise we made onceďż˝
    Because your soul has been taking
    To a place called heaven
    Since then I'm living here to suffer
    But it made me to think much better
    That in this world no one can survive
    Because death is part of life.





    Submitted on 2007-09-11 11:53:27     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Very amazing...
    "So I blame our destiny from separating us
    That broke the promise we made once…"
    At first i thought that it would be about a person leaving you without a choice (but still alive). these two lines got to me, nicely written.

    In the end we learn lessons that hurt us and help us well in life.
    "That in this world no one can survive
    Because death is part of life."

    Everything has its end...

    Fana
    | Posted on 2008-09-23 00:00:00 | by BusterLILblock | [ Reply to This ]
      I truely love this poem. So much of your emotion comes out I admire that in this writting keep up the good work.
    -Jenny
    | Posted on 2007-09-11 00:00:00 | by Darklonelygirl | [ Reply to This ]
      You have managed to open your heart in this piece and that is the best part of this poem, but I feel you can describe this piece in a less obvious way. You're onto something good and emotional, but you must try and make it emotionally convincing to the reader as well. We as writers can always do better, in fact, the desire to better ourselves should be a driving force behind our original works that are very close to our hearts. Please continue to write and write throughout your life, you'll find that your work will mature and that others will catch on to what you are trying to say through your works of art and passion. With that said, these kind of poems are hard to do without saying things in a stale and unoriginal way. I'm not saying your work is stale, I'm just saying that that is a danger among writers, so we must take constructive criticism, and most important of all we must be able to judge our own work more harshly than others, so that we can improve on our own, and give our own selves a nudge.
    | Posted on 2007-09-11 00:00:00 | by Martin S. Allen | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    149331

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Giving written by jjd
    Ten Poems written by Wolfwatching
    To the King written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Fathoms of the Lullaby Sea written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Be Free written by hybridsongwrite
    Sunset written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Devils in the Details written by endlessgame23
    102.3 written by rev.jpfadeproof
    untitled written by Chelebel
    Life changes in a moment written by Ramneet
    This written by Chelebel
    Transparent written by Daniel Barlow
    It's Night Now written by RisingSon
    Bee Keeper written by endlessgame23
    Bond written by saartha
    Wavelength written by saartha
    One Thing written by Wolfwatching
    Linger written by saartha
    Hopelessly Blind written by ForgottenGraves
    In My Head written by faideddarkness
    Cage written by distortedcloud
    To written by SavedDragon
    Incubus written by monad
    Pressure written by hybridsongwrite
    Unfortunate Reality written by TeslaKoyal
    Trails written by Daniel Barlow
    Summer Nights written by ollie_wicked
    Munyonyo written by expiring_touch
    Hollow Points written by RequiemOfDreams
    cleverly shunned written by CrypticBard

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry