Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Part of Lifedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: mystic_angel
    Elite Ratio:    1.16 - 59/33/14
    Words: 117
    Class/Type: Poetry/
    Total Views: 555
    Average Vote:    5.0000
    Bytes: 739



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsPart of Lifedots
    -------------------------------------------


    When I read your words
    That you wrote the last
    My heart is stabbed
    That I'm now collapsed
    And wishes if you were here
    Standing by me near
    Escorting me in my journey
    That seems like eternity
    Loving you from far
    And seeing you like a shining star
    Make me wants to cry
    Because reaching you is so hard
    So I blame our destiny from separating us
    That broke the promise we made onceďż˝
    Because your soul has been taking
    To a place called heaven
    Since then I'm living here to suffer
    But it made me to think much better
    That in this world no one can survive
    Because death is part of life.





    Submitted on 2007-09-11 11:53:27     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Very amazing...
    "So I blame our destiny from separating us
    That broke the promise we made once…"
    At first i thought that it would be about a person leaving you without a choice (but still alive). these two lines got to me, nicely written.

    In the end we learn lessons that hurt us and help us well in life.
    "That in this world no one can survive
    Because death is part of life."

    Everything has its end...

    Fana
    | Posted on 2008-09-23 00:00:00 | by BusterLILblock | [ Reply to This ]
      I truely love this poem. So much of your emotion comes out I admire that in this writting keep up the good work.
    -Jenny
    | Posted on 2007-09-11 00:00:00 | by Darklonelygirl | [ Reply to This ]
      You have managed to open your heart in this piece and that is the best part of this poem, but I feel you can describe this piece in a less obvious way. You're onto something good and emotional, but you must try and make it emotionally convincing to the reader as well. We as writers can always do better, in fact, the desire to better ourselves should be a driving force behind our original works that are very close to our hearts. Please continue to write and write throughout your life, you'll find that your work will mature and that others will catch on to what you are trying to say through your works of art and passion. With that said, these kind of poems are hard to do without saying things in a stale and unoriginal way. I'm not saying your work is stale, I'm just saying that that is a danger among writers, so we must take constructive criticism, and most important of all we must be able to judge our own work more harshly than others, so that we can improve on our own, and give our own selves a nudge.
    | Posted on 2007-09-11 00:00:00 | by Martin S. Allen | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    149331

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Ciggarettes written by Poetic_tragedy6
    Coversheets written by TheStillSilence
    Verse: written by Daniel Barlow
    Adoration written by TheStillSilence
    Reliquary of Writ written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Compartments written by TheStillSilence
    Florida's Autumn Solstice written by closetpoet
    going,,,"Skin." written by teika5
    Starseed written by endlessgame23
    Honeymoon written by TheStillSilence
    The Abyss of Love written by poetotoe
    Meaningless Meanings written by ForgottenGraves
    Loop-di-Loop written by endlessgame23
    Things They (Don't) Say written by TheStillSilence
    Twin Intercept written by Daniel Barlow
    Snippet written by Daniel Barlow
    Not the Devil, but the Wind written by endlessgame23
    (Untitled Song) written by TeslaKoyal
    Day 6 written by TheStillSilence
    A bit of Pain written by teika5
    Vortex: The Imagination That Is written by KeeperOfLight
    Gaia written by endlessgame23
    When Sirens Whisper written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Delicious Stews written by elephantasia
    Lost Inside the Race written by ForgottenGraves
    Live In Between written by teika5
    The Human Harmonic written by Daniel Barlow
    Untitled written by Daniel Barlow
    Beauty Rest written by jackz
    Relentless. The Visceral Fracture. written by Daniel Barlow

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry