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    dots Submission Name: Part IVdots

    Author: LRRolins
    ASL Info:    17/A/A world you dont own
    Elite Ratio:    5.37 - 142/140/84
    Words: 484
    Class/Type: Poetry/
    Total Views: 1150
    Average Vote:    4.0000
    Bytes: 3165

       Okay,look,I know this isn't the best I've written,but it was one of the most challenging so far.

    It started as an assignment for History class based off of a poem written by James Revel about his time as an indentured servant.What we were supposed to do was write a narrative about a specific stanza in the poem.

    I chose stanza number 5,but I challenged my self the write the whole story in ryhme.

    I about quit half way through,but I'm glad I didn't.I'm actually proud of this one,and I'm hoping that meh teaher won't notice that it's actually a poem I wrote,but just put it into to paragraph form (when I turn it in).

    Wither way,I ask you to be understanding of this.

    A main goal of this was to see if I could do it,but another goal I had in mind was that readers would be able to understand it and enjoy it without having to read the original poem by James Revel (of which I'm not too found of).

    Hope you all enjoy,and,please,CONSTRUCTIVE CRITCISM ONLY!!


    P.S.: Ryhme Scheme : ABAB,ABAB,ABAB,AABB,AABBC,etc
    Just thought to tell you cause those really long sentences that don't seem to ryhme with anything are teh "C"s in the poem.That ryhme pattern repeats 3 times throughout the whole thing.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsPart IVdots

    Growing oaks,small childern,as you may have taken notice;
    I once turned to wicked ways.
    I have grown hard of the ways of the world and learned to practice the whims of the Lord;as he says.

    During my term,
    I turned to him in my time of need.
    I had became ill,so I learned
    to repent and,through my sordid tale,plant his virtious seed.

    When I had first arrived and had been sold,
    my master was vile and cold,but equal.
    I had not been there long,and God had shown his displeasure and burned me with his spiritual fuel.

    no one care to show me any kindness of any kind;no pity
    was shown except for my fellow enslaved.
    Despite their colour,they smiled upon me sweetly.

    "There,there",they called
    as my fever brawled
    inside of me
    as I reached out blindly!
    Throughout the night,I cried out and broke in my knees when I could still find the strength to make it till the light.Still,I knew no rest as our Master worked us to the bone.

    Many nights of screaming out to God
    has passed me slowly by
    and his unhappiness became assauged.
    My demon,my fevor had died.

    With joy,I leapted
    and tears streamed down my face!
    For so long, my soul had slept,
    but he,the Lord,had opened my eyes and thrust me back into place.

    This was the dawning
    of a new day
    and hope was renewing
    itself to me,it's safe to say.

    With my new faith,
    I continued to face the Master's wraith.
    For twelve more years,
    untill his death,the only thing that came back was my fears.

    Yes,oh,yes!My Master had died,
    but there was no rejoicing to be tried.
    He not only left this life,
    but also a wife.
    Traitious wretch...She could have just kept us or set us free.Instead,with the land,we went out to sale.

    An old,rich man soon came by
    and looked us up and down.
    He liked the land and took the tie,
    but left us,indentured,to die here;safe and sound!

    He thought we were unpure
    and would have nothing of us,criminals.
    How sad and pathetic we humans are while uncured!
    How true!Sadly,it's a truth so final.

    Because of that Jamestown native,
    I waited with the rest.
    Back to block one,my old friends,I tried to forgive,
    but my heart had been hardened as I sat;once again, like the livestock I felt I should be;looking presentable;sadly,my best.

    Pitiful animal,
    Petty criminal;
    I was just simply wishing upon a star
    that was too far.

    "Quicker done than said,
    you're better off dead!",
    that's what the showman claimed,
    and I hung my head,shamed.
    If you would have looked me in the eye at that one moment in time,you would have thought that I had given up,but,inside my own heart,I knew that this was just the beginning.

    Submitted on 2007-09-11 16:41:33     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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