Music's stop by insphered soul

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Submission Name: Music's stop dots

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Author:	insphered soul
ASL Info:	18/M/ Hmmm?
Elite Ratio:	6.56 - 450/375/90
Words:	73

Class/Type:	Misc/Misc
Total Views:	212
Average Vote:	No vote yet.
Bytes:	484

Description:
Just something to get me back into writing.

Music's stop dots

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Flowing streams of words
rising tides of volume
busting through my headphones
the guy next to me looking stunned

Glancing at my music
as it glides around me
engulfing me in a different world
full of lyrics and rhymes

Then the music abruptly stops
flowing back in the color is gone
there is no rhythm or sound
with the man gone silence is my company

Damn,
My Ipod froze

Submitted on 2007-09-11 21:39:16 Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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1: >_<
2: I dunno...
3: meh!
4: Pretty cool
5: Wow!

||| Comments |||
  Hah, I love this. It really shows how music colors your world. Great write, keep it up.
| Posted on 2008-01-07 00:00:00 | by chaos_bite | [ Reply to This ]
  haha I completely enjoyed this! I hate it when my iPod randomly freezes, it's so aggravating. I liked the imagery of the man sitting next to you, I think every one who loves music has had those angry glares due to blaring music. I agree that music takes the listener into a completely different world. It helps me to concentrate and to think about the day and my actions. Very nicely written.

*tox*
| Posted on 2007-11-26 00:00:00 | by Toxic_Rayne | [ Reply to This ]
  i love the last stanza

it makes me smile cuz it reminds me of how cute you are ^_^

teehee

k

other than that it was pretty much boring, bc you didnt use any punctuation, parts of it didntmake sense.
and you could've organized it a little better.

Love ya.

+Moz+
| Posted on 2007-09-25 00:00:00 | by GoKart Mozart | [ Reply to This ]
  zombies that sucks ur ipod froze.

Gun almost got in a fight with someone and she was mad at me cuz i was too busy headbanging to notice.

good poem mannn. its very real.
| Posted on 2007-09-15 00:00:00 | by WD-40 | [ Reply to This ]
  Hope this boosted your desire to get back into your writing. I don'd really have an ipod but i do get it when the music stops. Especially when you wanna hear music and it's not there with you. Yea, i got that problem when i don't have any cd's with me ( i'm more of a discman person).

My only suggestion for you to be looking at is to work on your structure. You don't want to make your pieces flat. you can have amazing ideas but if you don't know how to make it attractive, those idea would not be as stricking as it should be. You can take something as simple as an ipod and turn the writing into something no one could imagine an ipod can do. Just think about that. Hope tha was helpful.

Cheers,

Irina
| Posted on 2007-09-15 00:00:00 | by charmedidentity | [ Reply to This ]
  Dammit! Make it sound like something; give it rhythm and rhyme; give it a personality; make it flow. I want to feel the music. Take me on a journey. Make me feel those words! Please!?

This is a great idea, but please spend some more time on the execution.
| Posted on 2007-09-11 00:00:00 | by isselman2001 | [ Reply to This ]
  Much luck to you while you try to get back to writing. Decent start, though. :)
| Posted on 2007-09-11 00:00:00 | by Me Rambling | [ Reply to This ]

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