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    dots Submission Name: Retourne for Lovedots

    Author: Vampiric Death
    Elite Ratio:    2.27 - 133/159/91
    Words: 118
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 624
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 640

       Retourne: a French style of poetry. A retourne consists of four quatrains (four line stanzas). Each line must consist of 8 syllables. Also, the second line of the first quatrain is the first of the second, the third line of the first quatrain is the first of the third, and the fourth line of the first quatrain is the first of the fourth.

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    dotsRetourne for Lovedots

    My heart soars as high as the birds.
    I lazily bask in your love,
    It brings such joy I want to shout.
    You are the only one for me.

    I lazily bask in your love,
    I try to take every bit.
    I need to feel you around me,
    Your sweet love is all that I need

    It brings such joy I want to shout,
    and offer you mountains of gold.
    Since I do not have such things,
    I can only offer you my soul.

    You are the only one for me,
    no one else do I love so much.
    So I will give you all I have,
    and hope for your eternal love.

    Submitted on 2007-09-12 00:10:06     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      This piece is structured well, and I do believe you are knowledgeable in that area, but when things are too well structured it's hard to communicate to the everyday man that many poets wish to speak to. This may impress a teacher or even another writer, but as poets we must expand our horizons and speak to as many different kinds of people as possible. By the way, I like this piece, but am trying to open your mind so that you can appeal to a wider variety of individuals.
    | Posted on 2007-09-12 00:00:00 | by Martin S. Allen | [ Reply to This ]

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