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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Love and Desiredots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Vampiric Death
    Elite Ratio:    2.27 - 133/159/91
    Words: 95
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 754
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 682



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsLove and Desiredots
    -------------------------------------------


    If love was life,
    and loss was death,
    then for you,
    I am the livingest-
    deadman ever seen.

    Love grows in me,
    desire burns me,
    you make me
    the most pious
    demon ever been.

    Love overcomes me,
    desire devours me,
    longing drowns me,
    in this torture,
    none can intervene.

    It's you I love,
    it's you I need,
    but you're not here
    and I have no shoulder
    on which to lean.

    The fate's are cruel,
    the stars are bad,
    the heart is evil,
    cupid is stupid,
    and love is mean.




    Submitted on 2007-09-12 00:13:19     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      I am loving all the personification you're using~!
    The last three stanzas ring oh-so-true for me and it's quite effective. The first two stanzas, have a more sentence-like structure compared to the last three. Maybe you could work on that? Be consistent with your structure. All in all, I really like it! Good write!
    | Posted on 2007-09-12 00:00:00 | by Keller | [ Reply to This ]


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