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    dots Submission Name: Be Stilldots

    Author: Jester_Gesture
    ASL Info:    23/f
    Elite Ratio:    3.41 - 365/459/201
    Words: 300
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 596
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1796

       (written November 2006) I am speaking to every one of you. But who is it that speaks, and from where? Are you listening?

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsBe Stilldots

    I have been captured by you, and still resounding,
    my walls echo with your lifetime's pounding.
    I have swelled in your joyous melodies,
    fluttered with fancy and trembled
    in the shadow of your anxieties.
    I have been left alone in
    the dark, tightness of depression,
    and without help or light of progression,
    left to fight for you, left to die for you.
    I have been pursued and sought after.
    I have heard your lilting laughter,
    you have heard my whispering love
    and I have known your hope's death,
    still crushed beneath your breath,
    beneath the breast
    of you who defies one's own strength.
    I have sometimes had enough and I have
    had little to speak of, beamed with hope
    or cowered in desolation,
    listened to a whimper of fright
    or cries of desperation, shouts of delight.
    I listen well, and am moved deeply,
    as the only one who knows truly
    your momentous honesties and
    share your secrets and your flaws,
    know this body's unbreakable laws.
    Your movements strange,
    and so prone to change,
    you seek answers where no secret hides,
    searching with fervor, holding tight to pride.
    But behold! Am I not the one
    who holds your secrets through every storm?
    Have I not kept safe your breath and brillance,
    or kept you steady in that terrible silence?
    Who am I! for you to be still
    and break yourself to your own will.
    Oh, let the hum of your heart,
    let the center of each stop and start
    speak softly some assurance to
    your fragmented fragility,
    a terrified, tattered you.

    Submitted on 2007-09-12 02:06:44     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      ...and how the heart listens and is heard. The entire poem is fluid, moving. I relished every...every word. But the end was my favorite, as I told you earlier, because it is so reassuring, invigorating, inspirational. You've taken the heart, this captured, sensitive awareness, and through but a subtle change of perspective, transformed it into a source of stoicism and reliability. The heart's eye can pierce through any shell, you seem to say, but the the heart's heart does not judge. The heart harmonizes with the frantic mind, singing a sweet lullaby. I felt it.

    I cannot express how much I adore this poem, more so with every single read.
    | Posted on 2007-09-14 00:00:00 | by Aaron Felix | [ Reply to This ]
      I love it.

    "Be still, my beating heart." And the heart has answered. And the heart is saying, "but my beating is the rhythm drumming your life and love!" You've realized, in a conceit that rivals any of the old metaphysical poems, how the heart feels.
    | Posted on 2007-09-12 00:00:00 | by Aaron Felix | [ Reply to This ]
      Quite good I think! You have some nice descriptions that allow the reader to visualize what you are writing about. That's not to say that we as writers/poets cannot improve upon a work, but there are times when a piece stands well as is.
    | Posted on 2007-09-12 00:00:00 | by Martin S. Allen | [ Reply to This ]

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