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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: You know what ...... means for us?dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: jackz
    ASL Info:    24/F/OH
    Elite Ratio:    3.76 - 591/622/378
    Words: 120
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 700
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 756



    Description:
       LOVE YOU


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsYou know what ...... means for us?dots
    -------------------------------------------


    You know what water means for us?
    Quenches thirst
    Sigh of relaxation

    You know what food means to us?
    Energy
    Strength

    You know what oxygen means to us?
    Life
    Survival

    And last but certainly not least...
    I hope and pray everyday you know what you are to me.

    You are my....

    Water,
    Food,
    Oxygen,

    And so much more

    You raise me up when I have fallen
    You take the best of care of me when I have fallen ill of a cold.
    No matter what, you do your best, to be the best for me!

    Certainly, without a doubt in my mind.
    You are, and forever will be my World!




    Submitted on 2007-09-12 15:55:45     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      This is good, I enjoyed it. Putting across the point that you need this person to survive, its very sweet. Hope to hear from you soon. Shadow
    | Posted on 2007-10-28 00:00:00 | by Shadow24968 | [ Reply to This ]
      I like what you've done here,
    but I think you could use a rhyme or a metaphor
    to smooth it out. But its a good work.

    The Poor Man's Poet.
    | Posted on 2007-09-13 00:00:00 | by Bobby K | [ Reply to This ]
      This is much better than the last poem of yours that I've read tonight. It more creative in every sense of the word. The only thing that I can suggest is that you try to go into other subjects rather than just love poems. I, myself would like to see a different side of you.
    | Posted on 2007-09-12 00:00:00 | by Martin S. Allen | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
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    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
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    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



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    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

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