[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: How Do I Let Go?dots

    Author: jackz
    ASL Info:    24/F/OH
    Elite Ratio:    3.76 - 591/623/381
    Words: 307
    Class/Type: Poetry/Angry
    Total Views: 959
    Average Vote:    4.0000
    Bytes: 1775

       When is it time to call it quits?

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsHow Do I Let Go?dots

    You lied then to me
    You held back information that was crucial to my life.
    And look where we are
    LOOK where these lies have put you?

    Do you see the position I am now in, thanks to you and these lies?
    Maybe they aren't lies
    But itís certainly not the truth!

    You see what lies have done to you
    You see the power they have yet you keep on lying to me
    And I can tell every time.

    I do all I can to tell help you out,
    I do my best to bite my lip when you throw guilt trips at me
    I do my best to not spit on you with shame
    when I find out your already borrowing large amounts of money from this man you are now dating...

    I hold back because you are my mother, and only because of that reason.
    Otherwise, I would have been done with you long ago.

    It shames me to such a degree to be put in the same room as you, and know that I am related to you;
    To know I am your child, with part of your genes.

    You do nothing but disappoint and disgust me more and more
    But I can't stop helping you

    Even though you opened my mail, and then lied about doing such a thing...
    Even though you used my name and social security number to receive credit cards and what not...

    I can't stop helping...
    I can't not be there...
    Whatís wrong with me?

    I leave my vehicle there for you, to keep a roof over your head,
    I leave my mailing address the same
    So you have a roof over your head

    And you repay by:


    Submitted on 2007-09-12 16:08:51     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      To the first two to comment.

    First of all I understand that good grammar is important to all readers and writers. How ever if you can understand what is written and you don't have any problems with what the words are, lightly touch on it and let it go. Focus on the Poem not the punctuation and spelling.

    As for what was written, you are so full of emotional and physical betrayal by the people who were supposed to be your foundation for growth and security.
    It shows in what you write and it's not just made up stories, that I think is one of the reasons I seem drawn to your work. From the very first post I read I KNEW this was real, your emotions were real , the anger the pain, the hope smashed, all of it, and it's because of the way it is presented,
    Please do not hinder that part of you, you are too pure with your emotions for it.
    | Posted on 2009-07-06 00:00:00 | by trynfinity | [ Reply to This ]
      the barrel is definately picking up speed on this one. It tumbles and bumbles but kept me moving towards the end faster and faster, in the end I liked it :) Good stuff but watch the spelling unless it was intended.
    | Posted on 2007-09-13 00:00:00 | by goveiac | [ Reply to This ]
      If you're not even going to proofread or spell check your work I'm not going to finish it before I tell you that it's bad. You clearly aren't even putting any effort into this.
    | Posted on 2007-09-13 00:00:00 | by eliwhitneyradio | [ Reply to This ]
      Good job at bearing your soul! It takes courage to lay all of your emotions out on the table for butchers to dissect and rip apart. I'd suggest that you delve deep into this piece and decide whether it is worthy of what you are really feeling, and whether or not it will touch the reader as it touches you.
    | Posted on 2007-09-12 00:00:00 | by Martin S. Allen | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]