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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Real Lovedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: kingsley
    Elite Ratio:    2.57 - 100/59/46
    Words: 105
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 1103
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 614



    Description:
       this what i feel true love should be like and not what a lot of people claim it is


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsReal Lovedots
    -------------------------------------------


    Real love is felt and not seen.
    It is like a mustard seed which grows form a fragile being,
    into a symbol of strenght.
    That is why men call out to it when in need
    but only few truly embrace it.

    Real Love is like a shooting star,
    only the paitent are treated to it's beauty.
    there,they all make wishes .
    Wishes that must come true.

    Real Love is all good and no bad.
    It brings forth light and cleans all atoms of darkness.
    It bears all and pull us through sad times.
    If you have it, what more could you ask for?




    Submitted on 2007-09-13 12:09:42     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      the barrel is definately picking up speed on this one. It tumbles and bumbles but kept me moving towards the end faster and faster, in the end I liked it :) Good stuff.
    | Posted on 2007-09-13 00:00:00 | by goveiac | [ Reply to This ]
      I like what you're trying to do here
    I think in your first stanza you could
    start a new line at (Which grows from)
    and maybe a little rhyme

    The Poor Man's Poet
    | Posted on 2007-09-13 00:00:00 | by Bobby K | [ Reply to This ]
      "Think Feedback more than Compliments" is what this site says to do, so I'm going to do that. If you please?, take no offense to my "Feedback"!! lol!! There are several spelling errors in this piece of poetry, and it doesn't seem to flow well to me. I'd suggest that you fix the spelling errors so that readers can tell that you put care into writing this piece.
    | Posted on 2007-09-13 00:00:00 | by Martin S. Allen | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    149477

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