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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Ide teeth and evanecsedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: all the english boys
    ASL Info:    15
    Elite Ratio:    2.76 - 173/239/46
    Words: 100
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 1983
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 656



    Description:
       the movielife are a band, so yeah. i used a line of their lyrics.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsIde teeth and evanecsedots
    -------------------------------------------


    shut your mouth boy
    turn me off, let me evanesce
    lay in waiting to pounce
    upoun the nearest rising star
    racing into the heavens
    grazing your cheeks
    your ide teeth upturned
    your taste lingering in the corner of my mouth
    we drive, the wind feels all to familiar
    brunt of it blocked by our bodies
    the sky weeps, lays to rest our lonliness
    the movielife blasts in the background
    we laugh and look at the dirty carpet of the seats
    so "c'mon c'mon, shut up, shut up"
    and I'll press you against the sides
    and hold you there forever.




    Submitted on 2004-06-21 15:35:06     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      'upoun' should be 'upon' and 'to' in 'all to familiar' should be 'too'. Otherwise this is pretty good. It's very direct, and I admire that.
    | Posted on 2004-06-21 00:00:00 | by Erchomenos | [ Reply to This ]
      "waiting to pounce
    upoun the nearest rising star
    racing into the heavens
    grazing your cheeks"

    I don't know the band or the song you speak of (duh) but this is very fresh. Fresh is hard to come by, glad to read it.
    Dave
    | Posted on 2004-06-21 00:00:00 | by Sandburg | [ Reply to This ]
      "shut your mouth boy" is where this piece anchors itself. There forcefulness and agreesion of that contrast with the romanticism of the star and the heavens to make the write enticing and exciting. It's like a swirl of emotions, sometimes tasting one more than the other. I like it.
    | Posted on 2004-07-13 00:00:00 | by Black Rock Tractor | [ Reply to This ]


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