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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Midnight-Study Musingdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: AptPupilofLife2
    ASL Info:    18/M/Berkeley,CA
    Elite Ratio:    6.79 - 113/131/48
    Words: 91
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 158
    Average Vote:    4.0000
    Bytes: 623



    Description:
       maybe i'm not done writing yet :-) it still doesn't feel quite right, and i feel the rest doesn't touch the first lines, but it's a start.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsMidnight-Study Musingdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Tonights seem to pass almost unseen
    between tomorrows and television screens

    But if you glance up,
    the stars seem to say
    Tonight is Forever
    you'll see, just stay

    If there wasn’t tomorrow
    If it all froze Tonight
    The first thing I’d ask-
    You’d miss me right?

    I’d miss you too.

    Though I didn’t say it
    In this coldest café
    Shaking where we sit

    Over long cold coffee
    And words we’ll forget
    I just wanted you to know

    I'd miss you too.





    Submitted on 2007-09-17 03:54:53     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      I like the ideas given in this poem lol It reminds me of sitting in the library at 2 AM studying for some exam you have the next day... And your mind kinda tends to wander to other things you'd rather be doing... Like sleeping or holding the one you love in your arms

    I saw your rhyme scheme in the first few stanzas, but somehow, you lost them toward the end. Might need a lil' fixing, but as you said, you're not quite done writing yet =P

    Overall, I love this poem Thanks for sharing

    -Sere
    | Posted on 2007-09-20 00:00:00 | by Lil Sere | [ Reply to This ]
      so sweetly beautiful....its very touching, and tender
    very nifty indeed

    xoxo
    | Posted on 2007-09-17 00:00:00 | by blu_kittin | [ Reply to This ]


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    January 10 07
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