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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: The Thing that Gets the Best of Usdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Jay92
    Elite Ratio:    1.37 - 6/17/19
    Words: 211
    Class/Type: Poetry/Depressed
    Total Views: 856
    Average Vote:    5.0000
    Bytes: 1132



    Description:
       Make it what you like.

    I want to hear what you think.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsThe Thing that Gets the Best of Usdots
    -------------------------------------------


    I'm put to bed.
    I feel so dead.

    I pick up the knife.
    And take a slice.

    The blood runs down.
    And hits the ground.

    My body shuts down.
    And I begin to drown.

    Darkness falls.
    And starts to call.

    A tremble in the gut.
    As my eyes begin to shut.

    I hear the voice.
    In the back of my mind.

    It draws me near.
    I try to stay clear.

    It pulls and pulls.
    But I pull away.

    I breath in.
    And open my eyes.

    It seems much brighter.
    The darkness is breaking.

    It creeps back.
    Like an early morning fog.

    The burden is lifted.
    My life is saved.

    My life was tested.
    No more am I a enslaved.

    To this dreadful thing.
    That can get us all.

    So cleverly it plots.
    Then takes us by storm.


    Taking the best,
    The best of us.






    Submitted on 2007-09-17 17:16:23     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      I like it.
    Thanks for the comment.
    | Posted on 2007-09-26 00:00:00 | by YC013 | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



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