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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Nightmaredots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Sharati_hottie
    ASL Info:    20/ Female / MICHIGAN
    Elite Ratio:    4.02 - 86/81/90
    Words: 151
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 1215
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 845



    Description:
       This is About my boyfriend who doesn't understand why I scream in the middle of the night. He doesn't understand why I have nightmares and Wake up crying. I doubt that he will ever understand completely what is going on with me.


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    dotsNightmaredots
    -------------------------------------------


    In my nightmares I scream
    I cannot hide in these dreams
    I wake up in very cold sweats
    I try to tell him, I don't know if he gets
    The point that I am trying to push
    across the table, and he looks
    like he is really trying to understand
    but just doesn't get it about this man
    that took advantage of me when I was twelve
    And I do not really want to delve
    into my personal life that much
    because it scares me a whole bunch
    but he doesn't get it and I don't know why
    he cannot understand why I cry
    and scream in the middle of the night
    that is why I have to fight
    in every dream that I have
    because I will avoid it if I can
    But in every dream I cannot hide
    I guess I have to watch and bide my time




    Submitted on 2007-09-18 21:18:09     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      Well.

    Here's my thoughts on the matter, and it's relational and personal but I want to tell you, even if you don't get it.

    I have built walls, walls that not only separate me from others but separate me from myself. Walls that keep me from wanting anything, denying my needs, denying I need comfort and to be vulnerable. I built them to keep myself safe, and I have forgotten who I am "protecting."
    The walls can keep me from receiving all the love that my lover gives me, that cheats him, THAT CHEATS ME.
    I have the hardest time forgiving myself for things, I feel guilty for feeling hunger - it's that bad.

    I've been through things I would call unspeakable, I cut them away - and bled to death in the process. My insides are a gory bleeding to death, I fantasize of jumping just so my love would see how I am on the inside.

    You have to talk, you have to cry, and scream, you have to talk. It will kill you sooner than you think if you do not.

    M.
    | Posted on 2007-09-27 00:00:00 | by Mandolin | [ Reply to This ]


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    149773

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.


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