Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • ES Magazine
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • Video Tutorials
  • RolePlay
  • 90% off Amazon
  • Funny Pics
    • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
    • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Empty Neucedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Demon__666
    ASL Info:    18/f/your nightmares
    Elite Ratio:    2.45 - 270/315/89
    Words: 112
    Class/Type: Poetry/
    Total Views: 189
    Average Vote:    5.0000
    Bytes: 435



    Description:
       Nothing at all.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsEmpty Neucedots
    -------------------------------------------


    EMPTY NEUCE Is this where you belong?

    Heartless
    Broken
    Loveless.
    Where did i go wrong?

    Where does life fit in.

    Tell me my love, What is my greatest sin?

    When it rains it pours on your black broken heart.

    As i cut down my last cross,

    I will wait for your response.




    Submitted on 2007-09-19 11:04:52     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      I love this, it's a bit diffrent from your posts of course because of your format.

    "As I cut down my last cross." That made me think. Honestly I don't really know what you really meant by this line. And I hope you can tell me. I have my thoughts about this line about what I think you meant. As you cut down this last cross. It could mean your completely ridding of your faith inside of God. It could also mean your ridding of your sanctuary. I could be way off. So I apologies if I am. Please do correct me though.

    I see a lot of hurt beyond these lines and this great sense of lamentful imagery you have invented inside of this poem. I can't explain the words my mind felt inside of this poem. But I'll tell you this, a couple of tears were created by this feeling...

    | Posted on 2007-10-17 00:00:00 | by Crestfallenman | [ Reply to This ]
      I like this cause I know what that is like. I like how it broke down into single line, That really gives the reader time to let it sink in, white space is used effectively here, if you were shooting for that. And another plus to me, is the thing in the beginning where you pause each line, only using one word at a time,
    then tom coplet the bar you filled in the rhyme I loved it it was perfect, this is one of my faves here.

    AeThe Lost Poet
    | Posted on 2007-09-21 00:00:00 | by AeThe Lost Poet | [ Reply to This ]
      Sort sweet and powerfull good write!
    | Posted on 2007-09-21 00:00:00 | by Kube | [ Reply to This ]
      Great write. Takes me right into the emptiness. I can tell you've "Been Here".

    Thanks,
    Swift
    | Posted on 2007-09-20 00:00:00 | by swiftless | [ Reply to This ]
      nice write. its good. like ur emotion which is real. it shows.




    peace
    Grim Aylin
    | Posted on 2007-09-20 00:00:00 | by WD-40 | [ Reply to This ]
      ahhh i read this befor did'nt i on your note book at school well it's still good i like the picture you drew with it to though well.. see you tomarrow at school.. bye chick.
    | Posted on 2007-09-19 00:00:00 | by shygirl | [ Reply to This ]
      I like this....raw emotion
    I have to admit I have been the guy on the other end of the neuce before,
    A couple of things one small thing is that "with" is mis-spelled in the last line, and also you ask the question in the poem "Tell me my love, What is my greatest sin?" maybe if you answered that question you could draw the reader even further into your point of view, I know I want to know,
    Great write,
    Thanks,
    Spin
    | Posted on 2007-09-19 00:00:00 | by Spin | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?    		7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    149792



    Full Anime Episodes Streaming Free
    5 million youtube videos all rated over 4.7 stars with 40+ ratings

    [ Copy this | Start New | Full Size ]

    Google
     

    [ Chrispian ] [ Write Forum ]
    [ Friends ] [ SNESroms ] .
    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry