Hey I said I'd comment anything if you asked, and you specified this peice. By the way thank you for your words on "Yours." Like your piece here, "Ulimate Addiction," that one hints at a few of my own dependencies.
I liked the softness of it and its comes across as wonderfully sweet. The third to last stanza is my favorite. And the best imagery I see in the work.
"Folding like a blanket
'round your shoulders
softly singing to your heart
a song sedating your every pain
pumps kindness through your veins"
One complaint I have is that the diction is so nice and the format so neatly done but I feel the line breaks could use a second checking over. The flow and meter is nice but theres just the hint, the feeling of a first draft to the piece. I wish you would add some punctuation, thats just a personal preference though. Punctuation makes things appear more polished.
The theme of the poem stays on point and consistency is always key. Your message is beautiful and I enjoyed the read.
This was written fantastically. It flowed well and was worded so that the reader had to read to the end. usually poems like this bore me and I stop reading, but this one captured my attention and didn't let go. I really loved how you didn't reveal what the object was till the last line. That was great. Keep up the awesome work, and I'll keep reading