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  Submission Name: Casero 
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| Author: | ladyofshalott | | ASL Info: | 18/f/somewheregone
| | Elite Ratio: | 8 - 3/3/7 | | Words: | 80 |
| | | Class/Type: | Poetry/Longing | | Total Views: | 82 | | Average Vote: | No vote yet. | | Bytes: | 555 |
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Description:
I speak Spanish, too... yes.
So, obviously, you will only be able to comment about the structure and dynamics in this poem if you do not speak Spanish, but if you do, PLEASE, FEED BACK! PLEASE! :)
¡Muchas gracias!
Still, I welcome any and all critique. BE aware- you cannot simply translate this poem and critique it. It does not translate to English in the rhyme I have set up, and the words will not mean the same. Please, do not attempt to critique the content unless you think in and speak Spanish. For the non-bilingual English-speakers, I reserve your right to only critique the structure, unless you have a comprehensive linguist translator person.
Thank-you! |
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Casero
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Soñé con una vida libre,
Una vida gran y sano.
Donde puedo ser alegre-
Reclamar mi altere
Pues no soy desespere,
Y mi mente es insano?
Quiero estar sin mi dolor,
Donde mi casa es verdad
Porque vivo desamor-
Mi corazon sin ardor,
Mi vida, frío, sin calor;
Mi dolor en impunidad.
Busco este lugar santo,
Busco para un amor-
Sin límite o batimento.
No tendré un desaliento,
mis creencias firmamento
Y soy ido del mi dolor. |
Submitted on 2007-09-20 15:43:55 Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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