Every relationship has so many moods that often feel as though they've been bottled just for our consumption but the bottles are provided in random order and are not always available according to our wishes and desires. The occasional sip of poison is that source of danger that titilates and spurs us on.
This is beautiful work, I feel your sort of "love hate" realtionship you describe here.
I Think its a gift when a poem becomes as easy as this one is to read,
You know what they say "What does not kill you can only make you stronger"
So maybe that poison will end out to work in your advantage.
Anyways; thats one of my little life guide lines that I follow.