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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Sailor At Seadots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: PolaroidMemory
    ASL Info:    18/F/IN
    Elite Ratio:    2.93 - 99/93/28
    Words: 154
    Class/Type: Poetry/Lostfriend
    Total Views: 95
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 829



    Description:
       I wrote this in dedication to a pen pal I had who was in the Navy. It's been years since I've heard from him and I have no idea where he is now. His name is Kevin.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsSailor At Seadots
    -------------------------------------------


    I watched him sail away into the dawn.
    I didn't want to believe it, but I knew he was gone.
    The moment he stepped one foot out the door,
    I ran outside and watched from the shore.
    He said he'd be back, that was one year ago.
    Time goes so fast, yet it seems so slow.
    I woke up this morning and saw his sweet face.
    I jumped out of bed as I felt my heart race.
    The next thing I knew, I was crying in his arms.
    I asked him why it had taken him so long.
    He said he was at sea, and a war broke out.
    The bombs were flying as the ship tossed about.
    The memory was too harsh to repeat.
    So he gave me a kiss that swept me off my feet.
    He promised he would never leave me again.
    His promise stayed true, this story I must end.




    Submitted on 2007-09-21 02:44:02     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Ahh:) I must tell you your pieces are sincere, despite their usage of simple language, and basic rhyme.

    ...cutesy though. I don't much like cutesy.

    Cheers
    Azuire
    P.S. Short comment! See also, useless comment!
    | Posted on 2007-09-24 00:00:00 | by Azuire | [ Reply to This ]
      Yes, this does sound like a very cute story... reminds of folk songs from the war times.

    A very little suggestions:

    Time goes so fast, yet it seems so slow.
    >> Time flies by fast, yet it seems to run slow.

    | Posted on 2007-09-21 00:00:00 | by silverfragment | [ Reply to This ]
      so cute, this one is. I almost felt i was watching a film..and this seemed like a sweet love story :)

    Romantic really, this one is.
    | Posted on 2007-09-21 00:00:00 | by vedanta19 | [ Reply to This ]



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