Description: Depression can be so suffocating! So many suffer from it and don't even relize they have it...I Suffered a very deep depression that took me nearly 3 years to pull out of...It can be damaging, and the effects of it leave deep scars not for only those suffering but loved ones as well..But...good news....I overcome it and here I am...back to my fullest potential!!
Into my despair -------------------------------------------
Beyond darkness what will illuminate
Creeping descending sorrow
Cradles me roughly
Taken by this embrace
I fall into your grace
Demons and saints only anticipate the choices we make
When the day is done
The glow is gone
Out of this darkness the shadows make their mark
This looming sadness
Never leaves me
It lingers and lingers and seems to have made its place
Deep inside the pain is suppressed
All senses become a frozen abyss
Trapped, a gasp for one last breath
I am not a stickler for grammer or for trying to put the lines into a proper structure. I see only what is on the page and what is in the heart of the writer. Depression is so often damaging to all who come into contact and if we can look at history we will find that some of our greatest leaders were depressed at times and some of them took medications for it. I have had the misfortune of having bouts of depression but I find that sometimes it is a must to be depressed. Depression gives us a look inside us when we must be willing to face situations that are to great for us. It is not the depression that hurts us but the inability to see beyond what has depressed us in the first place.
These day I go through bouts of depression but I know it is because my daughters and sons have left home and I feel at times that I have become useless. Poor me. I just have to understand that it is part of life.
I did like this write and I have no comments that would change it.
"Beyond darkness what will illuminate
Creeping descending sorrow
Cradles me roughly..."
(I love this, cradled roughly. It is like that, like being drawn in by something you hate - but even though your insides go "No! no, this isn't right! Help me!" - you cannot help yourself, you are enticed.
What I hate about it is the very first line, 'Beyond darkness what will illuminate'
Sure it's "pretty imagery", but it is in the long run a meaningless and empty concept. It might give it meaning to the reader --- I'm sure it has meaning to you, the author --- but you have information attached we don't get--- if you went into what was being illuminated - not just sorrow being revealed, there is so much more to it. It could be awesome, but it just isn't. Like a prettily bottled wine that is a lovely color and tastes like rot - not wine. )
2.
"...Taken by this embrace
I fall into your grace
Demons and saints only anticipate the choices we make..."
(More could be terribly amazing thoughts, that just disappoint me - not enough behind them.)
3.
"...When the day is done
The glow is gone
Out of this darkness the shadows make their mark..."
(I get this part, Night is Hell for me. It used to be only night was hell, now it's more like a few hours are not Hell. But i get this, you know, it holds it own. it doesn't have the prettiest words and pictures attached, but it is strong enough and supported enough to stand alone.)
4.
"...This looming sadness
Never leaves me
It lingers and lingers and seems to have made its place..."
(Isn't true depression more than sadness? It is resignation, despair, giving up, gried, terror, not caring, weariness...you just don't go into it enough, not saying get personal - but you make it way to mellow for me to feel anything. It's like, "Oh, your lover died? that's Sad. So, what's on t.v.?" Just, get gritty, darn it! You'd be awesome, be real!)
5.
"...Deep inside the pain is suppressed
All senses become a frozen abyss
Trapped, a gasp for one last breath"
(Like the last line, hate the abyss reference but that's just a grudge. again, Divulge. Be gritty, sincere, true - not prettily packaged - ACTUALLY TASTE GOOD.)
It it not the most interesting poem, but I think that is because it does not carry itself. I feel bad saying I do not think it is very well written, but it is fair to say that if that is what I think - correct. Of course there are things I could compliment, so let that encourage you, but I want to help you write - not gloat, and not wallow.
Submission Name: Into my despair
