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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Four Past Now My Brotherdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Crestfallenman
    ASL Info:    24/M/CA
    Elite Ratio:    4.45 - 621/961/451
    Words: 144
    Class/Type: Poetry/Longing
    Total Views: 592
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 929



    Description:
       Don't care too much for comments, don't even know why I would expect them anyways...My brothers death date is today. Going on a big four years of the loss without him, and I'm still not really ready for my mothers loss and sisters that are coming shortly...


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsFour Past Now My Brotherdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Of the years we spent near each other,
    And the eyes that would watch me grow.
    Every waking moment was captured my brother,
    As I've locked them away in my head from the moment you had to go.

    Remembering the days before this vivid nightmare,
    The laughter, the holidays, the vacations, the love...
    Now an essence in my cruel and cold seasons of despair,
    As laments pour tears to who occupies the heavens above.

    Words of farewell left unspoken,
    Feelings left stale from lack of comfort.
    My heart frail and broken,
    As it fatigues from being this hurt...

    Oh brother! Trail in heaven without pain...
    As I suffer without you in this time I dwell...
    I cry to you in this state I remain so maimed...
    Please don't forget the times I have inside this hell...


    Love your brother...




    Submitted on 2007-09-24 05:46:41     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      I like this because of its raw truth in feeling.
    I think you captured the reader with your sort of dark longing for your brother. I sometimes fid these types of writes following along the same lines and they become boring but I think you you allowed yourself to write sort of outside the box for a better lack of words.

    I cannot relate to losing a brother but I can relate to losing a father at an age when I needed him the most. 28 yrs have passed and I can tell you that I still think of him each day. I think it is good to hang onto those memories and also feel the pain through the years. It lets us know that we still care about life and that there still are things to live for.
    It sounds like you were close to him so I will end this with " best wishes to you"

    Nicely Done

    Respect

    Clyde
    | Posted on 2007-09-28 00:00:00 | by Wisdom Seeker | [ Reply to This ]
      I don't know. This just reminds me of how I feel remembering the deaths of my loved ones, it's not the same - it's years and I'd never even ponder "taking" or "easing" it from you, but it reminds - and so much of life is made of "how" we remember.

    Do you still wake up in terror?

    My best friend told me that it goes away, that he doesn't feel that terror anymore - but it's been eight years since his sister died.

    I still have that terror, you know what it is I am talking about? I'm sure you've had it - but you may not know it as ' that terror.'

    Talk to me sometime,
    I also fail to grieve and be at peace.
    I'm told it happens, that the guilt goes away.
    So, I'm told.

    -M.
    | Posted on 2007-09-24 00:00:00 | by Mandolin | [ Reply to This ]


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