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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Confessdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: blu_kittin
    ASL Info:    20/F/Garden of Eden
    Elite Ratio:    6.15 - 711/397/207
    Words: 79
    Class/Type: Poetry/The pain inside
    Total Views: 943
    Average Vote:    3.0000
    Bytes: 517



    Description:
       this is how i feel sometimes, but im thinking of it as a diary speaking up


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsConfessdots
    -------------------------------------------


    sell me your soul
    and i'll lend you an ear
    or give you a helping hand

    i'm your confessional
    there's not a thing you can say
    that will pas through my lips

    sell me your soul
    and i'll take your fear
    yes, i'm your woman

    i will be professional
    i can listen all day
    and then give you some tips

    just sell me your soul
    i'll make you feel dear
    i'll do all i can




    Submitted on 2007-09-24 12:54:03     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      "i will be professional
    i can listen all day
    and then give you some tips"

    Probably my most favorite lines.

    It's just a cold, to-the-fact point. You bear all, and I'm here to take it. It just screams out obvious.

    Good piece. I at first thought it was just going to be another one of those "I'll be your crying shoulder! I'll listen to whatever it is!"

    But no, you surprised me. It's a favorite.

    Good work.
    | Posted on 2008-01-26 00:00:00 | by SanctityExposed | [ Reply to This ]
      I really like the way that you repeat the same couple of lines throughout the whole thing.

    Sell me your soul

    I also like the rhyme scheme you have going on here.
    Confessional - Professional
    Ear-Fear-Dear
    Day-Say

    It has it's own rhythm. However the end seemed to be a little cut off. It felt as if it stopped short, like it wanted to go on, but you couldn't quite figure out how maybe? I don't know.
    | Posted on 2007-10-02 00:00:00 | by Spiderwebb123 | [ Reply to This ]
      just sell me your soul
    i'll make you feel dear
    i'll do all i can

    I like it. It seems like it could be a diary...or a psychiatrist...or a trusted companion.

    Regardless, it's an interesting point of view.
    | Posted on 2007-09-24 00:00:00 | by Raivn | [ Reply to This ]


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