Circles by MC white

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Submission Name: Circles dots

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Author:	MC white
ASL Info:	20/Male/Ohio
Elite Ratio:	3.26 - 71/73/45
Words:	122

Class/Type:	Misc/Misc
Total Views:	883
Average Vote:	No vote yet.
Bytes:	757

Description:
bah. humbug

Circles

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My head spins slowly
and I dont feel sick
just dont feel like standing or talkin to quick

Its my fav'rite release
this slow burning buzz
makes my weekends go fast when my weeks been too rough

it makes up for it
least I think that it does
this concoction of smoking and drinking and drugs

and the parties where
nobody knows me or my face
and how it seems like my memories leave me for days

but only the good ones
the remorse seems to stay
its dulled but it sits on my shoulder's at bay

and quietly whispers
that it'll just go away
if I keep spinning in circles for just one more day.

Submitted on 2007-09-24 22:27:31 Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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||| Comments |||
not, bad. It's alittle choppy, to me in a few areas but the drinking and drugs part is pretty nice. I think the fourth stanza is a little off to me. it seems to take away from the peice, plus the third line doesn't seem to quite fit in to that space.
| Posted on 2007-10-15 00:00:00 | by AeThe Lost Poet | [ Reply to This ]
This has a real easy flow to it, comes quickly off my mind's tongue. It feels relaxed, peaceful, which is what I believe you were going for. I like how it's restful, but still mindful of the real world--the narrator is aware of both peace and life's struggles. Nice job.

My favorite lines:
but only the good ones
the remorse seems to stay
its dulled but it sits on my shoulder's at bay

{Kate}
| Posted on 2007-09-25 00:00:00 | by Jester_Gesture | [ Reply to This ]

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January 10 07
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Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3 It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
It means a lot to them, as it does to you.