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My head spins slowly and I dont feel sick just dont feel like standing or talkin to quick Its my fav'rite release this slow burning buzz makes my weekends go fast when my weeks been too rough it makes up for it least I think that it does this concoction of smoking and drinking and drugs and the parties where nobody knows me or my face and how it seems like my memories leave me for days but only the good ones the remorse seems to stay its dulled but it sits on my shoulder's at bay and quietly whispers that it'll just go away if I keep spinning in circles for just one more day. |
not, bad. It's alittle choppy, to me in a few areas but the drinking and drugs part is pretty nice. I think the fourth stanza is a little off to me. it seems to take away from the peice, plus the third line doesn't seem to quite fit in to that space.| Posted on 2007-10-15 00:00:00 | by AeThe Lost Poet | [ Reply to This ] | This has a real easy flow to it, comes quickly off my mind's tongue. It feels relaxed, peaceful, which is what I believe you were going for. I like how it's restful, but still mindful of the real world--the narrator is aware of both peace and life's struggles. Nice job. | My favorite lines: but only the good ones the remorse seems to stay its dulled but it sits on my shoulder's at bay {Kate} | Posted on 2007-09-25 00:00:00 | by Jester_Gesture | [ Reply to This ] | |