iPod by NoMartyr

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Submission Name: iPod dots

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Author:	NoMartyr
ASL Info:	18/M/Michigan
Elite Ratio:	2.95 - 29/60/51
Words:	96

Class/Type:	Poetry/Misc
Total Views:	168
Average Vote:	No vote yet.
Bytes:	618

Description:
One of the simplest poems I've ever written. You'll probably be able to guess what it's about.

iPod

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These thoughts are not my own
These thoughts are not my own
And when they are it's flight and I pick up the phone

The batteries drained
What am I to do?
Am I expected to talk to you?
No, read a book
Safe from danger
Look down when walking
Don't talk to strangers

Hanging on to Professor Savior
Staying in his favor
With an A for good behavior

I'll rewrite my notes for science
Before the day has ended
Be sure to plug in my appliances
So I don't make new friends

Submitted on 2007-09-25 09:50:10 Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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1: >_<
2: I dunno...
3: meh!
4: Pretty cool
5: Wow!

||| Comments |||
  Ahahha, the last line made me smile. You are revealing one of the best-kept secrets of youth! I think it's hilarious. However, it's also sad how hidden and concealed young people can be because of technology and new toys and gadgets we get our hands on easily now. Our MP3 player runs out of batteries? It is only then that we resort to actually reading literature, books... only after all other options have been exhausted. Anything to prevent us from having to begin/be dragged into conversation with another human being!

FAVORITE.
| Posted on 2007-09-25 00:00:00 | by awastedsky | [ Reply to This ]
  Sadly,this sounds a lot like mehself.... o.O

It hit home.
It really did.

The rhyme you have in here is really nice by the way.It doesn't sound forced.In fact,it sounds so natural.Of which I like very much!

Besides that...

"These thoughts are not my own
These thoughts are not my own
And when they are it's flight and I pick up the phone"

I had to re-read these lines a few times over to get it.It sounded a bit weird,but it sounded awesome at the same time.Which is weird,but I encounter it alot in my own writing,so yea.I do think there's supposed to by a comma after "when they are".Not sure though...

"it's flight and I pick up the phone"

This is the line that really got me.It somewhat confuses me.I keep getting this mental image of a stick-figure with a "snowy" tv for a head answering the phone and all you hear is static on the other end.

o.O

" The batteries drained
What am I to do?
Am I expected to talk to you?
No, read a book
Safe from danger
Look down when walking
Don't talk to strangers"

Really love this stanza!In comes another one of those staticky stick figure mental images.Still,the "safe from danger/don't talk to strangers" reminds me of a song line I know from He is Legend (I Am Hollywood) : "Don't you talk to strangers? You know it leads to danger."I'm gonna be a big star some day"

Great song.

Neithertheless,that's what comes to mind....

"Hanging on to Professor Savior
Staying in his favor
With an A for good behavior"

This stanza here really makes or breaks the mold when I try to figure out the meaning behind this peice. (I read the other comments,btw) "iPods-taking-over-&&-killing-communication" or the "nerd" theories.Either one,give or take??

That one is a favvie of mine cause it just flows. :)

"Be sure to plug in my appliances
So I don't make new friends"

Love that line more.

Great write!! <222Lindel
| Posted on 2007-09-25 00:00:00 | by LRRolins | [ Reply to This ]
  I had a good snicker at this poem, but in reality there is something a little darker going on here for me. I don't like to go after darkness, but I can see the reality of someone being antisocial and keeping to themselves their thoughts, fears and emotions.

I just want to take the subject of this poem and give them a big hug and let them know that not everyone hates them. *hug*

Thanks for the write! Simple yet very clever. I really liked it.

Dan.
| Posted on 2007-09-25 00:00:00 | by swiftless | [ Reply to This ]
  It seems to be about being anti-social. The person in this poem, be it you or not, reminds me of these kids that walk around my school, heads down, rollie back pack in hand, and jetting through the hall ways, avoiding the stares and annoyed yells of people who want these rollie people to stop rolling over toes with their rollie back packs.

Is it about ignoring people by using your iPod? Hah.
| Posted on 2007-09-25 00:00:00 | by Secrets Unheard | [ Reply to This ]
  the firt thing i noticed was..... *drum roll* it made me laugh, but it made me laugh because its me in a sence im not geeky (smart) but im nerdy like that ill put my headphones in to escape the world around.

"The batteries drained
What am I to do?
Am I expected to talk to you?
No, read a book
Safe from danger
Look down when walking
Don't talk to strangers"

i love this people dont even know how to talk to each other theese days lol i know im like anti people/ contact but if need be i can talk for london LOL

"The batteries drained
What am I to do?...
Safe from danger
Look down when walking"

theese lines in that part of your poem made me think what the F*ck else are you ment to do(but thats because im a nerd) lol i really like this i wish i could have been more of a help to you improve your writing but ya know

its Great!

Dark Figure

P.s only thing i didnt get was the first line, typo? or im just stupid its probly the latter :D
| Posted on 2007-09-25 00:00:00 | by dark figure | [ Reply to This ]
  To me this is about how everyone's dependence and love of these little gadgets or "appliances" as you put it has plagued our minds and left us unable to think for ourselves. Everyone on the streets have headphones in their ears, and the headphones connected to ipods, which in a sense shuts out the rest of the world and kills off any form of communication.

But...

At the same time I can also interpret this as a piece making fun of people whom are enclosed in their own world of books, computers and school, basically "geeks". I'm not sure which one of the two or even either of the two, but I myself like the first interpretation, so I guess I'll go with that one.

This was well written, short and to the point. The only part I didn't really understand was the line:

"And when they are it's flight and I pick up the phone"

Perhaps it's a typo? Or I'm just not reading it correctly.

Anyways thanks for sharing.
| Posted on 2007-09-25 00:00:00 | by screamALEX | [ Reply to This ]

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