[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: Restricteddots

    Author: AeThe Lost Poet
    ASL Info:    19/M/DE
    Elite Ratio:    3.6 - 147/184/122
    Words: 83
    Class/Type: Poetry/Depressed
    Total Views: 629
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 627


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.


    We are restricted,
    To these fatal shells,
    Bodies weak, fragile,
    Unlike souls
    These bits and pieces,
    You left behind,
    Are something I cherish,
    And hold,

    I miss you,
    Itís of late, love,
    Now that past is,
    What past is,
    My thoughts,
    Flash you,
    On and off, candid,

    Shots of you,
    You, my sanctum,
    Peace you give,
    Me, see?
    I love you,
    Want to hold you
    You only you,
    And Me

    But we are restricted,
    To these fatal shells,

    Submitted on 2007-09-25 13:10:30     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      nice write , enjoyed reading it , love the lil rhyme scheme.yiu can really feel the longing and emotion in each line.thanks 4 a good read keep it up.check out some more of my wrk if u get some freetime.Im No Talent
    | Posted on 2008-03-13 00:00:00 | by No Talent | [ Reply to This ]
      This was great! The chooped flow works really well for what you are desciribng: longing for something and the pain that results when it isnt possible.

    People are defined by their appearances, crowd, etc., and that defenition prevents them from being thier true selves. It also prevents them from being with someone who doesn't "belong" with thier group. Such cliques really get on my nerves as well.

    Your imageru was vivid and you had good choice of words.
    | Posted on 2007-10-05 00:00:00 | by TheStillSilence | [ Reply to This ]
      I like the rythm, any changes really it would have ruined the effect you were going for, it makes me want to try doing something in that style
    | Posted on 2007-09-25 00:00:00 | by strokes | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Carry written by saartha
    Journey written by endlessgame23
    To the Devil and Candle written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Deep Into A World Of Despair written by DeathTone
    winners circle written by ShyOne
    Etiquette written by saartha
    a mood to be free written by Daniel Barlow
    Formal Jen written by Daniel Barlow
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (2) written by endlessgame23
    Every..... written by jackz
    a safe place written by Daniel Barlow
    Silent Screams In Silent Dreams written by poetotoe
    Records I written by Raphael
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (6) written by endlessgame23
    prison written by ShyOne
    Shut Up written by annie0888
    The Old Mill written by Wolfwatching
    i've missed written by mysalvation
    Yes written by poetotoe
    descent written by TheBadSadMan
    Or are we written in the sand? written by Chelebel
    You read free written by poetotoe
    untitled written by ShyOne
    Sleep Talk written by Queen_of_spades
    I AM THANKFUL FOR written by Ramneet
    the living moment written by ShyOne
    The Severed Head written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Waiting written by Daniel Barlow
    Physician, Heal Thyself written by WriteSomething
    the testing of hypotheses written by Daniel Barlow




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]