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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Restricteddots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: AeThe Lost Poet
    ASL Info:    19/M/DE
    Elite Ratio:    3.6 - 147/184/122
    Words: 83
    Class/Type: Poetry/Depressed
    Total Views: 629
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 627



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsRestricteddots
    -------------------------------------------


    We are restricted,
    To these fatal shells,
    Bodies weak, fragile,
    Unlike souls
    These bits and pieces,
    You left behind,
    Are something I cherish,
    And hold,

    Memories
    I miss you,
    Itís of late, love,
    Now that past is,
    What past is,
    My thoughts,
    Flash you,
    On and off, candid,

    Shots of you,
    You, my sanctum,
    Peace you give,
    Me, see?
    I love you,
    Want to hold you
    You only you,
    And Me

    But we are restricted,
    To these fatal shells,




    Submitted on 2007-09-25 13:10:30     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

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    ||| Comments |||
      nice write , enjoyed reading it , love the lil rhyme scheme.yiu can really feel the longing and emotion in each line.thanks 4 a good read keep it up.check out some more of my wrk if u get some freetime.Im No Talent
    | Posted on 2008-03-13 00:00:00 | by No Talent | [ Reply to This ]
      This was great! The chooped flow works really well for what you are desciribng: longing for something and the pain that results when it isnt possible.

    People are defined by their appearances, crowd, etc., and that defenition prevents them from being thier true selves. It also prevents them from being with someone who doesn't "belong" with thier group. Such cliques really get on my nerves as well.

    Your imageru was vivid and you had good choice of words.
    | Posted on 2007-10-05 00:00:00 | by TheStillSilence | [ Reply to This ]
      I like the rythm, any changes really it would have ruined the effect you were going for, it makes me want to try doing something in that style
    | Posted on 2007-09-25 00:00:00 | by strokes | [ Reply to This ]


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