Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Still Miss Youdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Raivn
    ASL Info:    33/f/al
    Elite Ratio:    4.28 - 1222/916/231
    Words: 201
    Class/Type: Poetry/Longing
    Total Views: 674
    Average Vote:    5.0000
    Bytes: 1186



    Description:
       I'm over him...but in the dead of night...these things come up


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsStill Miss Youdots
    -------------------------------------------


    I used to wake up every morning
    To find our limbs entwined
    My heart would beat a little faster
    Just knowing you were mine

    I used to lay and watch you sleep
    Marvel at the innocence that came over your face
    Then you would awake and be my demon again
    And I would fall from grace

    I used to live to make you smile
    I used to love you beyond measure
    I never wanted to be without you
    And your particular brand of pleasure

    I used to dream that you'd come back
    That you would realize you'd made a mistake
    And every day was a living hell
    And there was nothing but the ache

    I used to think my choice was right
    That I could have you in this way
    I gave you my body, hoping
    That it would somehow make you stay

    I used to believe I loved you
    But I know it isn't so
    I loved the man you used to be
    And I finally let that person go

    You used to be my everything
    Now there's nothing left to do
    The past is dead and buried
    But somehow, I still miss you




    Submitted on 2007-09-27 19:59:34     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      wow... this is very sad. :( I feel the same way right now, and what some of us women do for that thing called " love". I am sorry if this was a personal experience of yours, but atleast if it was, you have grown to understand that sex, and saying 'i love you' isn't always enough.

    ~Mag.
    | Posted on 2007-11-09 00:00:00 | by Magger32 | [ Reply to This ]
      This is well written. I like the rhyme scheme. And i understand how you feel about missing someone you shouldn't. My favorite part is the beginning because that's the most innocent part, when they aren't conscious.
    | Posted on 2007-10-30 00:00:00 | by ollie_wicked | [ Reply to This ]
      Conflicted emotions and sensual memories converge when the lights are low and the mind and heart are most receptive. At least you can remember what was good about the relationship.
    | Posted on 2007-10-06 00:00:00 | by ErgoIgo | [ Reply to This ]
      oh mygod raivn......it never imagined that you would be so good at this but you are, so many times over, and i am so glad i have been reading your stuff lately, this was spectacularly devastating and i cant stand it
    it makes me happy, nostalgic, depressed, wistful, teary.....

    beautiful
    truly

    i love it

    xoxo
    | Posted on 2007-09-28 00:00:00 | by blu_kittin | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    150297

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Deep written by Janesaddiction
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth written by endlessgame23
    None the Wiser written by endlessgame23
    Verse: written by Daniel Barlow
    Johnny's Cock written by endlessgame23
    A Thousand Reflections written by endlessgame23
    When Sirens Whisper written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Hyle written by endlessgame23
    The Curtain Call written by faideddarkness
    going,,,"Skin." written by teika5
    Dream written by closetpoet
    To the Artist written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Meaningless Meanings written by ForgottenGraves
    The Want written by Daniel Barlow
    Untitled written by Daniel Barlow
    Loop-di-Loop written by endlessgame23
    Starseed written by endlessgame23
    Live In Between written by teika5
    Florida's Autumn Solstice written by closetpoet
    Ciggarettes written by Poetic_tragedy6
    no sky on the other side written by teika5
    // Seasonal Song written by ShadowParadox
    Lost Inside the Race written by ForgottenGraves
    Snippet written by Daniel Barlow
    Whispered written by endlessgame23
    A Worsening Effect written by Daniel Barlow
    Delicious Stews written by elephantasia
    Things They (Don't) Say written by TheStillSilence
    FamiliarDemons ©™ written by kyserin
    A Sense Of Things written by Daniel Barlow

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry