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Roleplay | Viral news today | Music Theory

Hiatus

Author:	tennisfuzz
ASL Info:	21/F/wandering.
Elite Ratio:	5.72 - 79 /98 /40
Words:	208

Class/Type:	Poetry /Serious
Total Views:	1100
Average Vote:	No vote yet.
Bytes:	1228

Description:

this is more than one hiatus.... in a poem....Inspired by several thoughts and ideas... looking less for writing advice, and more for thoughts and discussion...nice to just plop down and write though :)

Hiatus

Uncomfortable.
Projection, repression.
Restrain Platonic Dreams
Does you conscience tickle? Does it itch?
Morality butts its devout head,
Begging you to deny your heart and follow Their rules.
One leech, one lurker, one loss,
One lewd libido, one lucky shot, one love…
An immense shadow lurking beyond each moment
leers at your tears.
Chase those sparks. Avoid those scarring charring flames?
Meanwhile you tumble…
Glaring harmless daggers at time’s eye, flailing in
the absence.
Breath escaping in gasps.
Desperate to form shrieks.
Frustration. Clenching consternation.
Fold the earth in half.
Grasp the air and pull everything into
a crinkled mound.
Surrounded and unattached.
Hollow ringing laughter, longing for movement,
Motives
Meaning!
Please, fill the gaps, Every Single One.
Replace those terrible realizations of
[too true truths] of this atrocious world.
Lost innocence becomes that balloon
A faint receding dot of youth.
Take a number.

Submitted on 2007-09-27 23:50:31 Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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Comments

Its depressing but I like it. it gives something to connect to :) nice work

| Posted on 2008-01-12 00:00:00 | by Xena | [ Reply to This ]

This is one of thoose things that "art" critiques just love. however I tend to have some difficulty liking poems of this kind.
I liked reading it, it appealed to my mind but nothing really stays (wich is the verry nature of poems like this).
if one was to just look at one or two rows in it, almost everything appeals to the mind, gives a sense of philosophic stimulation which i love

As a whole it gives pleasure to read but afterwards leaves you wondering what you just read.
still I kind of like it (and that's saying something since I usually don't like poems like theese, they feel to ranty... but i like rants toooo...)
Gonna stop here before I loose myself even more

| Posted on 2007-10-17 00:00:00 | by Wolfie | [ Reply to This ]

Well done as always, but rather depressing. It may just be my sleep deprived state but I can't quite follow it. The emotional impact is quite readily apparnt however, at least to me. I really need to get back to writing.

| Posted on 2007-09-27 00:00:00 | by Ignis Fatuus | [ Reply to This ]

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Hiatus

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