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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Bloody Marydots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Razor2TheRosary
    ASL Info:    24 - f - Philly
    Elite Ratio:    8 - 238/127/51
    Words: 183
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 921
    Average Vote:    5.0000
    Bytes: 1436



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsBloody Marydots
    -------------------------------------------


    The cemeteryís cold tonight, but Iím waiting,
    and skin, though frozen, is deteriorating.
    Satanís wind blows branches away from dead trees
    as mausoleum doors open without Godís keys.

    Sick despair drizzles where
    Bloody Mary lingers.
    Sit and stare. Pull my hair,
    wound around your fingers.


    Death screams much louder than the chanting of a cult,
    congregating, suffocating fate with assault.
    Youíre like a one-armed boxer; spit and knock me out.
    Headstones turn to roaches when faith discovers doubt.

    Bitter pill. Mercy kill.
    Homicide spins faster.
    Violent thrill sleeps until
    each slave becomes master.


    Moon hangs over a diamond sky, shapeless and dim.
    Restless stars expire, exploding on a whim.
    Youíve always stayed a day behind to avoid sin,
    but mutilation reigns and now youíre giving in.

    Dawn will riseÖ Advertise.
    Resurrection falters.
    Burn the wise. Shelter cries
    salt on empty altars.


    Far beyond redemption is beautiful decay.
    The sacrament of healing pushes us away.
    Cathedral steps crack in ruin, welcoming Mass
    with morning, but warm blood is sprawled across the grass.




    Submitted on 2007-09-28 01:39:54     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      i liked this a lot, very unique and interesting. i like your style it's very different!!!
    | Posted on 2008-01-04 00:00:00 | by scissorhands | [ Reply to This ]
      this is amazing..such a great topic to write about and you filled it out with such perfection. great job i love it
    | Posted on 2007-11-18 00:00:00 | by DontLetGo421 | [ Reply to This ]
      I like this....i would not say its a masterpiece...but it is a start....dark....unrelenting...spoken like a true human.
    | Posted on 2007-11-09 00:00:00 | by iaida | [ Reply to This ]
      wow... not sure what to say but wow... it was amazing VERY griping and scaryish i loved it tons!
    | Posted on 2007-11-02 00:00:00 | by x_Broken_x | [ Reply to This ]
      yes very dark lyrics, well put together, well rhymed.the 2nd,4th,6th, stanzas , i liked them sounded like a very fast chant,as if you were conjuring up a spell, with candles, chemicals and a big black book(not the bible) very, very good poem
    gerry
    | Posted on 2007-10-05 00:00:00 | by eyeless in gaza | [ Reply to This ]
      Nikkki....WOW! You know how much I love your work and you always have a way to catch my interest...This, well, Holy F%$# - you grabbed me, pulled me in, can't even say what you did in some areas, but this is right on it. You are showing some serious weight in this and now you have me desperate to read some more (as always)

    The "Death screams much louder than the chanting of a cult,
    congregating, suffocating fate with assault.
    Youíre like a one-armed boxer; spit and knock me out.
    Headstones turn to roaches when faith discovers doubt"
    PERFECT!
    What can I say that I haven't already drooled out to you in my praise of your work before...except that you just keep getting better...
    You are on it

    Lisa
    | Posted on 2007-10-05 00:00:00 | by ravenwolf68 | [ Reply to This ]
      "Headstones turn to roaches when faith discovers doubt."

    You are absolutely weird and i love you just as you are. i like your new name page um thing, who knows i might just write another poem titled after this one, lol i'm such a crazy fool. ok i want to tell you i missed you but i think i'm going to tear-up <sniffles, blows nose> welcome back.

    Found a hand to hold,
    Jay.
    | Posted on 2007-10-02 00:00:00 | by Flowerinbloom | [ Reply to This ]
      Wow.. I don't know what else to say. It very descriptive and I love it. Woot you rock. ^-^
    | Posted on 2007-10-02 00:00:00 | by Katlord | [ Reply to This ]
      thanks for the comment:)

    i like this a lot
    "as mausoleum doors open without Godís keys"
    "Restless stars expire, exploding on a whim."
    these were my favorite lines, and of course i liked all the little stanzas in parenthesis

    the only thing i can say in the way of constructive criticism is that in a few places the rhyming doesn't flow quite right to me
    but thats ok
    mine never does
    anyway i liked it a lot

    SYnesthesiA_WaR
    | Posted on 2007-09-28 00:00:00 | by SYnesthesiA_WaR | [ Reply to This ]
      Oooooooo...deep and thought provoking as ever. Faith discovers doubt...stayed a day behing to avoid sin...salt on empty altars. Such great lines and invokations in them.

    I read the last lines like this though:

    Cathedral steps crack in ruin, welcoming another Mass
    in mourning, as warm blood is spread across the grass

    But thats just me.

    Nice one Nikkki! You are awesome.
    | Posted on 2007-09-28 00:00:00 | by hyproglo | [ Reply to This ]


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