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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Like An Ocean of Red...dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: manwithnoname
    ASL Info:    18/M/Ontario
    Elite Ratio:    5.84 - 314/278/117
    Words: 47
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 1089
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 325



    Description:
       A magnetic poem I made quite some time ago. I think I posted it on here before, but I'm not sure.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsLike An Ocean of Red...dots
    -------------------------------------------


    Secret Prisoner
    War smoke wake steel morning

    Like ocean of red
    Pierce stream – only here will you remember
    Rot surrounds
    Dying heart
    Bone fresh above the breeze
    Men haunted by lingering bellow of broken decay

    May this wet grass kiss my life away




    Submitted on 2007-09-28 10:49:40     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      I am absolutely in love with the last line...

    "May this wet grass kiss my life away"

    That's just so...beautifully put.

    I'll be honest, i have no idea what the poem's about...lol if you'd care to enlighten me, i'd be eternally greatful:)


    lol
    Sam
    | Posted on 2007-10-15 00:00:00 | by Falling Rain | [ Reply to This ]
      I'd rather die on the battle field then in a battle of the heart.
    | Posted on 2007-10-01 00:00:00 | by Mandolin | [ Reply to This ]
      A person who is different that their outward presentation, they are hidden and imprisoned within themself. This person keeps finding their cage desolate, murderous, a very deadly and ill-ridden place to be contained in. What things of importance that they try to convey when they may are overlooked, all the wrong things are what others about them remember. This person is their own jailer and they have practiced this art for a very long time. They have gotten so good at it that they cannot release themselves and at the same time they are desperately in need of deliverance they are enticed by their cage. They have lost so much of themself that they cannot be freed because they are unsure of what it is or who they are that will be released, revealed.

    Their doubt is killing them. Time is killing them. The pain is so raw and open no matter how many bandages are applied and masks worn. They are not healing no matter how many medicines and cures are used in that attempt.

    They almost don’t want to be free, enticed by the wound – they have become so complacent they’d rather simply die then find out who they are and be released.

    M.
    | Posted on 2007-10-01 00:00:00 | by Mandolin | [ Reply to This ]
      very interesting. i liked it. it was simple, yet deep. i found it to be a hauntingly beautiful piece about death.

    "May this wet grass kiss my life away"

    i found this line to be a perfect ending. it ended the piece in a sad yet beautiful way.

    nicely done.


    | Posted on 2007-09-29 00:00:00 | by maquiladora | [ Reply to This ]
      I enjoy these magnetic pieces and I like to find the commonality and theme in the seemingly random. I also do that when I play Scrabble - I like to see if there is something to all the words being presented. Yep, I'm that dorky!

    This reminded me of a battlefield piece and I thought the ending statement was quite fitting!

    Enjoy the day & love,peace,joy&smiles to share

    tif
    | Posted on 2007-09-28 00:00:00 | by Epiphany | [ Reply to This ]


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    150332

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    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.


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    January 10 07
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