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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Soldier's Marchdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: the heartless
    ASL Info:    15/male/LA
    Elite Ratio:    3.46 - 24/68/43
    Words: 356
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 119
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1958



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsSoldier's Marchdots
    -------------------------------------------


    As I look across the plains of war
    I relise, we are nothing but pawns of what we are
    As I draw my sword and stair into the eyes of the enemy
    I know one thing of certainty, that death will be the consistency

    As we hold our swords in the air and scream
    As we run holding the handels of our blades
    As we relise death is upon us
    I know the price I will pay to defend my beloved

    The millions of screams from each blade as it clashes to another
    As I look into the eye of my enemy I long to call my brother
    I must push him back to the ground and run my blade into his being
    As I stare into his eyes as he begins to die, I can't believe what I'm seeing

    As I look at my fellow warriors fight, and my enemies fight back
    I know now war as no purpose but to kill
    I know that this clash of soldiers is nothing but death
    I have come to the realisation, that we fight for a cause that dosen't exist

    As I sheath my blade and turn around
    I feel a sudden burst of pain sending me crashing to the ground
    As I look up to see
    I see only a reflection of me
    Holding my sword ready to strike me
    Then I scream, "What are you waiting for, smite me!"

    He thrusts the blade down into me
    Now I know death is what I'll be
    As I give one last shout
    Blood pours from my mouth
    The words I say are only these
    "I failed to live for you my love, never to return, but please.
    Never forget me, never loose the picture of us together on the stand.
    That was the greatest day of my life, the day I put the ring on your hand."

    As all the fighting stopped, each looking at me
    I knew that my I was going to die as blood poured from my heart
    But I ended a war, this was my soldier's march




    Submitted on 2007-09-28 12:37:52     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      Very intriguing poem. I greatly appreciate what you are trying to say in this poem too; war is a horror that engulfs lives that seem all too precious to lose. Yet it also reminds me of the duty of soldiers, and the main character's noble reason for fighting is even more indicative of it. Having this poem laced with the thought of love is a very potent tool you used quite well. Also I agree that many wars are pointless, merely opportunities for bloodshed. This is a poem that is both powerful and insightful, not many are like that. Well done.

    One slight critique I could point out is that although your rhyme scheme was good, I could not detect any kind of poetic meter; the amount of words or syllables in any given stanza seemed random. Perhaps you meant to write it that way, but I am only giving you my thoughts.

    -Jared.
    | Posted on 2007-09-28 00:00:00 | by Forest Saint | [ Reply to This ]



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    January 10 07
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