9/28/2007
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Description:
Umm...this is me rambling and attempting to sort myself out.
9/28/2007
I live each day inside a lie Trying hard I still won't cry I lift my head up to the stars And try to image a life I haven't lived Each day I walk this path alone Makes me feel like I am unknown But it doesn't matter because no one cares All that matters is the fact that I'm unstoppable I'll fight my way through the trials Through the thorny paths that life's thrown It doesn't matter who I hurt (lies) Because I know that at night I'm still alone Another loss of human souls Because I can't face facts I'm shown Painful thoughts and merciful actions Throw me back into old passions I refuse to go back to somewhere worse When I've found something filled with less hurt For the first time I've found understanding. |
Submitted on 2007-09-28 22:11:21 Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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| Not bad at all ButI do have to admit the rhying you used in this write does seem a little forced I would try rewriting without the rhyme But again I stress this is totally up to you this is your write To me you are speaking of all the relationships that have hurt you throughout life The Good thing is you still remain Positive and have learned from making wrong decisions That my Friend is all you could ask for Great Job!!! God Bless Ron Please if you get a chance Please take a look at some of my writes and let me know what you think Thank You God Bless Ron | Posted on 2007-09-30 00:00:00 | by Ronswords | [ Reply to This ] | So is this kinda like a journal entry? Or just the way you feel today. (the title) BUt umm.. anyways, the first paragraph is good. In touch with your feelings and what not. But the 2nd half, to me, is not to clear as to what exactly those feelings concern. | | Posted on 2007-09-29 00:00:00 | by isis_lenore | [ Reply to This ] | |
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