Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • ES Magazine
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • Video Tutorials
  • RolePlay
  • 90% off Amazon
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Autumn breezedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: LadyMerlina
    ASL Info:    24/ F/ Montreal
    Elite Ratio:    3.07 - 60/93/58
    Words: 80
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 76
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 493



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsAutumn breezedots
    -------------------------------------------


    The cold wind makes the morning tremble
    The day promises to be a cold one
    Lost in a land where trees have no leaves
    They're a metaphor for me without you
    and you without me.

    I shiver on the streets, hoping you'll turn up
    Around every corner I see
    Hoping you'll notice me first and surprise me.

    So I look around,
    but you're nowhere to be found.

    Only the cold wind carresses me




    Submitted on 2007-09-29 07:17:57     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      I like what this piece has to say and I hope you offered great thanks to siradrian for the editorial help.
    | Posted on 2007-10-06 00:00:00 | by ErgoIgo | [ Reply to This ]
      The metaphor is a neat one and the whole works rather well. However there are a fewe bloopers in terms of spelling:
    leeves should be leaves
    chiver should be shiver
    metaphore should be metaphor
    carresses should be caresses
    "trees as no leeves" should be "trees have no leaves"
    | Posted on 2007-09-30 00:00:00 | by siradrian | [ Reply to This ]



    Full Anime Episodes Streaming Free
    5 million youtube videos all rated over 4.7 stars with 40+ ratings

    [ Copy this | Start New | Full Size ]

    Google
     

    [ Chrispian ] [ Write Forum ]
    [ Friends ] [ SNESroms ] .
    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry
    This user has been inactive for more than 5 days.