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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Autumn breezedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: LadyMerlina
    ASL Info:    24/ F/ Montreal
    Elite Ratio:    3.07 - 60/93/58
    Words: 80
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 549
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 493



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsAutumn breezedots
    -------------------------------------------


    The cold wind makes the morning tremble
    The day promises to be a cold one
    Lost in a land where trees have no leaves
    They're a metaphor for me without you
    and you without me.

    I shiver on the streets, hoping you'll turn up
    Around every corner I see
    Hoping you'll notice me first and surprise me.

    So I look around,
    but you're nowhere to be found.

    Only the cold wind carresses me




    Submitted on 2007-09-29 07:17:57     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      I like what this piece has to say and I hope you offered great thanks to siradrian for the editorial help.
    | Posted on 2007-10-06 00:00:00 | by ErgoIgo | [ Reply to This ]
      The metaphor is a neat one and the whole works rather well. However there are a fewe bloopers in terms of spelling:
    leeves should be leaves
    chiver should be shiver
    metaphore should be metaphor
    carresses should be caresses
    "trees as no leeves" should be "trees have no leaves"
    | Posted on 2007-09-30 00:00:00 | by siradrian | [ Reply to This ]


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