This was really good Deluka! I think you could of made it much longer? But who am I to say so.
Kind of sad ,but in a way it made me smile.
Great write! Thanks for sharing.
Kelley Frost
This is so powerful for such a short poem! It speaks magnificently about a positive and winning attitude that is determined to win against powerful inner pain and former abuse!
If I might make suggestions, I would change "holler" to shout! This is also such a dynamic poem that it needs a stronger, more vivid title; maybe "Survivor"?
My suggestions are not to implicate that the poem isn't excellent! It is powerful and very good!
When I was younger, I was very sickly. But my dad used to say that it's OK to get sick because if the disease doesn't kill me, it will make me stronger.
This piece, in all its serenity, reminds me of that. It is like the narration of a process - as if every line has been accepted greatly and there is no further need to justify it with color or glamour. With this kind of form, it makes the piece hard to argue with and strong.
Good job.
(...but of course I said that so you would feel obligated to send more half-naked men over to my page. )
this is beautiful.
i think i will be her when i grow up.
i think there is a lot to be said for spirit.
some people seem to be lacking in it.
thats one thing i dont understand and yet... if one has never had need to display the breed of spirit about which you speak one might almost want to call them blessed as a result.
but not me.
i am thankfully for every scummy thing that has happened in my life.
some days i am convinced my life is just one tragedy strung after another but even tragedy can make a beautiful necklace if you're willing to wear it...
i never bought that 'what doesnt kill you only makes you stronger' line. i was always fine with how strong i was and didnt think that gettng stronger was going to help anything LOL!
but feeling like you are in control of yourself... that is priceless...
i like this.
the way it was her initiative to purge herself.
a lot of ppl sit around and wait for someone else to do the purging for them but in the end it comes down to doing it yourself... incase someone else purges the wrong bits
i adore your ability to pull words from pictures or vice versa...
(two souls beat in my breast
the one wants to lead without the other.)
two lines from faust, which came to my mind as i read your poem. the struggle within one,s self, the good side and the bad or destructive side.in your case the good side has obviously triumphed.(She has purged black vibes)
(She is stronger now)overall i think you have written a really good poem that i enjoyed reading.
take care gerry
Well, this gives me the feeling of a young woman that has had many battles with someone that has hurt them and torn their spirit down. Almost like having many relationships that failed because of patterns that can't be broken. Her inner strength is the only thing that has kept her sane.
This says that maybe she finally broke that patteren and has found peace with in. Something that she hadn't felt in a long time.
I maybe wrong but that is what this write speakes to me.
Submission Name: Survivor
)