Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: creativitydots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: austin
    ASL Info:    22/ Male/ Odessa, Texas
    Elite Ratio:    4.41 - 376/396/84
    Words: 147
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 730
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1015



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotscreativitydots
    -------------------------------------------


    loss of words clutter the mind
    of unthinkble horrors, hanging near
    on the edge f something deep
    but the vastness is deceiving
    scrambled parameters, all but lost
    makes finding safety, harder yet

    A single tear stood for the right things
    has now dried and turned to stone
    insecurities flailing to a darkened space
    where permeable things are admitted

    Crossed lines have been passed
    In a way more than disgusted
    and as your visions near,
    do you find them satisfying?
    and is your mind fully quenched of the thirst
    of everything that you've ever lusted?

    You've clouded the meaning, thrown it astray
    and searched for anything, to pin on the blame
    not knowing or caring of whom it could be
    struggle to see, what you'll never become
    grown tired of one's self, so try to change
    too many times discouraged, of what has remained.




    Submitted on 2007-09-29 10:57:14     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      of [unthinkble] horrors, hanging near = unthinkable

    on the edge [f] something deep = of?


    this piece feels tired.
    tired of listening to excuses and of finding explanations for the way things are... for the way things arent the way they should have been

    sometimes its never enough.
    lusts cannot be fulfilled because theyre always growing or mutating... im sure of it.

    it interests me how this piece starts off quite vague. it doesnt mention an object to which this piece is directed but then slowly 'you' creeps in until at the end is you You YOU! in some ways...

    i think youve done really well here...
    | Posted on 2007-10-27 00:00:00 | by Someones Epiphany | [ Reply to This ]
      I was watching Science of Sleep the other day and I remember this conversation between two of the characters: one of them wants to be an artist and the other one said, "I'm not a creative person like you. I don't feel the need to leave something behind."

    This is what your piece reminded me of.

    Sometimes, it's just maddening, isn't it? To be lost in what could've been a gift just because we want to squeeze everything we can from it. It's funny because when it comes to things like writing, when you do it just for the sake of pleasuring your self or indulging an itch that needs scratching, it's the easiest thing. But when it comes across as something that matters, a job, a point to prove - it becomes so hard that you start hating it. It's sad.

    And what about curiousity... it's such a double edge instrument that is just impossible to control. That to one great force of human nature that could lead to development or demise.

    I like the feel of your poem. It has a strongly beautiful sense of negativity and an almost stoned or tired voice. And it reaches out with this seemingly foreboding manner to translate a richness that is definately worth writing about.
    | Posted on 2007-09-29 00:00:00 | by ANGELO | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    150365

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    In a Corner written by jeniecel
    The Curtain Call written by faideddarkness
    Mystery Read written by kyserin
    no sky on the other side written by teika5
    Adoration written by TheStillSilence
    The Want written by Daniel Barlow
    Gaia written by endlessgame23
    A bit of Pain written by teika5
    The Poems Death written by Mepoduo
    Johnny's Cock written by endlessgame23
    A Sense Of Things written by Daniel Barlow
    Lost Inside the Race written by ForgottenGraves
    Coversheets written by TheStillSilence
    Things They (Don't) Say written by TheStillSilence
    (Untitled Song) written by TeslaKoyal
    Compartments written by TheStillSilence
    Loop-di-Loop written by endlessgame23
    Day 6 written by TheStillSilence
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth written by endlessgame23
    Deep written by Janesaddiction
    Relentless. The Visceral Fracture. written by Daniel Barlow
    Beauty Rest written by jackz
    The Human Harmonic written by Daniel Barlow
    Keep written by TheStillSilence
    Vortex: The Imagination That Is written by KeeperOfLight
    Honeymoon written by TheStillSilence
    FamiliarDemons ©™ written by kyserin
    A Worsening Effect written by Daniel Barlow
    Ciggarettes written by Poetic_tragedy6
    When Sirens Whisper written by HisNameIsNoMore

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry