Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Air Sickness #3dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Pietro
    ASL Info:    30/m/cebu
    Elite Ratio:    8 - 298/175/36
    Words: 139
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 1069
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1002



    Description:
       bill posed an interesting question in part 2. this is my answer to that. i dont know if these things would ever make sense individually or even as a whole... perhaps that is the point.

    i must say, maybe a year ago i would have crashed the damned plane...

    meh, crashing it would have been too easy anyway.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsAir Sickness #3dots
    -------------------------------------------


    The captain has turned on the fasten your seatbelt sign.

    Flight attendants calm as Hindu cows.

    The in-flight movie grinds to a halt, and the credits roll.

    The captain has deployed the oxygen masks, please remain calm as we make our final approach.


    Oh God, oh God!





    We're gonna die!




    Holy Mary mother of God...




    I'm sorry ma...






    I love you.








    I'm too young...













    There is no such thing as turbulence now, only gravity.

    And air-sickness bags are trivial at best.




    Thank you for flying Ecumenical Airlines...




    Submitted on 2007-09-30 09:33:32     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Thank you for flying Ecumenical Airlines...

    This was a real punch line.

    "Flight attendants calm as Hindu cows."

    This line sprang out of your poem and knocked me over the head with a gargantuan container of deja vu. Hindu cows have special meaning for me, because I am Indian. They are silent, lazy and fat, but are worshiped as sacred beings because they produce milk. In some of the more rural parts of India, they saunter meanderingly onto the streets, and none of the cars dare knock them over.

    I too, like Someones Ephiphany, think you have a nice trilogy,
    | Posted on 2007-11-03 00:00:00 | by albery rinash | [ Reply to This ]
      Hahah. This is funny. My favorite part is when everyone dies. And the reoccuring reference to vomit bags.

    And I wanted to say "THANK YOU" Peitro, for your lovely comment on my poem, and the fav additions. It has been awhile. How the hell are ya?

    Do you have a fear of flying? This is great parody of your own fears. What a great way to manage fear, parodize it. Is that even a word? Oh well, it is now.
    | Posted on 2007-10-20 00:00:00 | by screams | [ Reply to This ]
      I was supposed to comment on this trilogy yesterday but, I fell asleep. =P

    I think that what makes it attractive are the shadings of dark humor that you seem to call upon every now and then. It makes the whole thing look playfully classy.

    I also think that your shift from typographical hysteria to the calmness of small barely distinguishable text amplifies the trivilized view that most people give to tragedies when they are not the ones who are in the center of it.

    Overall, the pieces work together as a whole. It was, at times, fairly funny and, at times, engaging.
    | Posted on 2007-10-02 00:00:00 | by ANGELO | [ Reply to This ]
      The captain has turned on the fasten your seatbelt sign.

    Flight attendants calm as Hindu cows.

    The in-flight movie grinds to a halt, and the credits roll.

    The captain has deployed the oxygen masks, please remain calm as we make our final approach.


    Oh God, oh God!





    We're gonna die!




    Holy Mary mother of God...




    I'm sorry ma...






    I love you.








    I'm too young...













    There is no such thing as turbulence now, only gravity.

    And air-sickness bags are trivial at best.




    Thank you for flying Ecumenical Airlines...




    "We do indeed hope you've enjoyed this terrifying ordeal and that (in some small way) the flight crew has made it possible for our passengers to be thrilled into existence. Please feel free to float about the cabin..."


    At least that's the impact I imagine. Disembodied voices and absolutely smooth features smiling benignly at the poor humans who haven't learned to trust the flight crew with their souls, let alone thier lives. I wonder how calm ground control seemed before the Challenger exploded? BTW, this is a dim view of technology as religion...but it is accurate.

    Bill
    | Posted on 2007-10-01 00:00:00 | by rws | [ Reply to This ]
      wahahahahahahah!
    sorry... that last line kills me...
    ecumenical airlines... ha!


    anyways...
    i like that all three feature the vomit bags... its something that brings the 3 pieces together.
    this piece seems very different from the other two and yet i think there would be big problems if it wasnt vastly different really...

    no such thing as turbulance only gravity...
    i have no idea how i would react if i were on a plane that was going down... none at all... but the cries and pleas etc you have here would be very natural responses.

    one thing i have noticed about all 3 pieces, other than the way theyre spaced which in my mind makes the encounter much longer... this with time stopping in crisis, is the way the font gets smaller part way through.
    i should think it is on purpose and it strikes me as very well placed and incorporated...

    very well done pietro.
    i think you have created your trilogy well
    | Posted on 2007-09-30 00:00:00 | by Someones Epiphany | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    150388

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Vortex: The Imagination That Is written by KeeperOfLight
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (4) written by endlessgame23
    The Poems Death written by Mepoduo
    Journey written by endlessgame23
    The World written by jjd
    When Sirens Whisper written by HisNameIsNoMore
    phantom limbs written by expiring_touch
    Cover written by saartha
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (2) written by endlessgame23
    (Untitled Song) written by TeslaKoyal
    mimicry written by expiring_touch
    Delicious Stews written by elephantasia
    My Four Seasons written by faideddarkness
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (5) written by endlessgame23
    i've missed written by mysalvation
    Carry written by saartha
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (3) written by endlessgame23
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth written by endlessgame23
    Physician, Heal Thyself written by WriteSomething
    Etiquette written by saartha
    Shut Up written by annie0888
    Florida's Autumn Solstice written by closetpoet
    Deep Into A World Of Despair written by DeathTone
    To the Devil and Candle written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Things They (Don't) Say written by TheStillSilence
    The Unicorn written by BlazeFlamme
    Redemption written by poetotoe
    to Be like written by KeeperOfLight
    Honeymoon written by TheStillSilence
    The Old Mill written by Wolfwatching

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry