Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Familydots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Little Gal
    ASL Info:    20 female, Bahrain
    Elite Ratio:    3.58 - 469/431/94
    Words: 137
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 998
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 981



    Description:
       I wrote this about every member of my family, including me.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsFamilydots
    -------------------------------------------


    There's the big boss
    The one in charge
    The omnipotent
    His opinion counts most

    Then the loving caring assistant
    She means well
    But hurts all in sight
    By her words and misunderstandings

    There is too a controlled controller
    She is controlled by her wishes
    But controls others wishes too
    So with the dawn and sunset comes control

    Too exists a quiet one
    Sensitive, lonely and different
    Trying to suceed as herself
    She messed up her life

    Still in growth is the innocent
    Loved by all
    Accepted by all
    And she never makes mistakes

    Finally, is the yet to come
    Nort understanding quite what's going on
    He sits and stares
    At the family's fights

    A Family where each is different
    Where only one of them understands
    That to love
    You must accept




    Submitted on 2004-06-22 09:04:33     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      wow see this is great! i've read a much of your posts but this really stuck out i like this alot!!! I can relate it was great i can see all you wrote with great detail nicely done

    Jackz
    | Posted on 2010-01-17 00:00:00 | by jackz | [ Reply to This ]
      not bad! i like the way you used the word control over and over about the controlling one... we have one of those in my family, too! wants to run everyone's railroad, but i love her anyway! this was an interesting peek into your family. i am assuming that you are the quiet one...?
    | Posted on 2004-06-22 00:00:00 | by magnicat | [ Reply to This ]
      amen to that... I am the oldest of 8 and I have tons to put up with ... I recognized at least 3 of my relatives here...

    well written I love the way you broke everyone down... then except it for what it is..
    awesome, that's family
    Ora
    | Posted on 2004-06-22 00:00:00 | by Oracle | [ Reply to This ]
      This was really sweet. It had a nice flow to it, and an even better message! I understand this well, you put you thoughts and insights into good use!
    | Posted on 2004-06-22 00:00:00 | by Cai | [ Reply to This ]
      Hey, not a bad write at all. I'm completely impressed by it within the context of your age. It is also not bad for someone much older. You are far ahead of your similarly aged peers on this site. Thumbs up to the Bahrainian Barbituate!?! (I know that makes no sense)
    | Posted on 2004-06-22 00:00:00 | by Black Rock Tractor | [ Reply to This ]
      i have to say i really like this one. i think that it is true for all familys all around the world very nice write keep up the great writes lia
    | Posted on 2004-06-22 00:00:00 | by lili | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    15042

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Honeymoon written by TheStillSilence
    Relentless. The Visceral Fracture. written by Daniel Barlow
    Ciggarettes written by Poetic_tragedy6
    The Curtain Call written by faideddarkness
    Rooted in Nature written by Chelebel
    Across the bed written by expiring_touch
    Compartments written by TheStillSilence
    FamiliarDemons ©™ written by kyserin
    Things They (Don't) Say written by TheStillSilence
    Keep written by TheStillSilence
    Day 6 written by TheStillSilence
    Twin Intercept written by Daniel Barlow
    // Seasonal Song written by ShadowParadox
    Mystery Read written by kyserin
    Snippet written by Daniel Barlow
    Whispered written by endlessgame23
    A bit of Pain written by teika5
    Loop-di-Loop written by endlessgame23
    Florida's Autumn Solstice written by closetpoet
    When Sirens Whisper written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Coversheets written by TheStillSilence
    Deep written by Janesaddiction
    Not the Devil, but the Wind written by endlessgame23
    None the Wiser written by endlessgame23
    Live In Between written by teika5
    Sword in the Water written by Wolfwatching
    Verse: written by Daniel Barlow
    Hyle written by endlessgame23
    Dream written by closetpoet
    A Sense Of Things written by Daniel Barlow

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry