Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: once upon a timedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: shaman
    ASL Info:    32/m/Holland,MI
    Elite Ratio:    8 - 821/406/72
    Words: 141
    Class/Type: Poetry/Nostalgia
    Total Views: 889
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 932



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsonce upon a timedots
    -------------------------------------------


    Once upon a time my posts,
    my rhymes,
    Were noticed.
    Once upon a lotus flower
    I scraped and scoured
    the ocean floor for
    remnants of ancestors.
    Like the stories;
    this catcher gone a rye,
    Clawing at dust mites
    As they bite my third eye
    And night mares gallop past
    At a pace to fast stay saddled
    The death rattle is more of a morrocca
    And hell the sweltering sting of a habanero pepper
    Cold hard conjecture meets fact and upon impact
    There exact location becomes a mystery for everything but gps.
    I guess I'm babbeling,
    Ranting
    Rambling without cause
    Yet for all of my flaws there is still cause for celebration
    As I utter some incantation uniting the etheral with the physical
    In plain sight spirits take flight for all to see
    and god is standing next to me beat boxing




    Submitted on 2007-10-01 07:30:23     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      
    Oh my word!

    I forgot to say some thing...then got booted..and then hit the exit.
    Sorry

    I did truly enjoy the write. It's extremely accurate to the light in which I view Elite these days...this time round coming in has been the strangest ever...ghostly and hallow..traces of the faces here and it's been like that for ages I know but mortality makes us frail and anything that dies hurts and wounds deep.

    Meh

    Whether this was your meaning/intention with the piece or not, that is where it lies within me.

    Brava bro
    XO

    This was amazing :

    I scraped and scoured
    the ocean floor for
    remnants of ancestors.
    Like the stories;
    this catcher gone a rye,
    Clawing at dust mites
    As they bite my third eye
    | Posted on 2014-05-13 00:00:00 | by clay | [ Reply to This ]
      Once upon a time...so accurate.

    Ash is dead on...this place was something completely different when we first signed up...huh?

    Yes, yes it was.

    But the swell of tides falling short around here does not mean the talent is gone. Proof right here. There could be some straightening up right before the "babbeling" which is actually babbling but did you mean to reference the aura of Babylon?

    Whichever...you know I do not help with the fixing just throw my two cents at you and RUNNNNNNNNNN!


    XO
    from the pie hole ;)
    Love
    | Posted on 2014-05-13 00:00:00 | by clay | [ Reply to This ]
      i like the mix of the concrete, here and now, mixed with a more loftier/ metaphysical sense of feeling.
    | Posted on 2013-08-28 00:00:00 | by isis_lenore | [ Reply to This ]
      You're rambling was great to read and reminded me of te movie Dogma, one of my favorites right under The Fifth Element. This simply reminded me of when I had first joined ES and wow, nearly 4 years ago, people seemed comment on everything. it was a frenzy. lay out help, reformatting ideas, personal relations to the piece, out right but constructive criticism. and goodness i worked hard, posting and making sure to recomment as many other people in return. then i went through a good year of rping and then after i out grew that, i began my little snippets of poetry which arent nearly what they once were (it gives me something to do and away to just chill out for a bit) and posting them and well not so much attention any more. it almost saddens me but its not a drastic change, just something that causes you to tilt your head and say oh, mainly because a piece that once upon a time would recieve four comments now only managed one. and it was two sentences with the word dude in it. anyhow nice writing.

    later,
    Ash.
    | Posted on 2009-01-20 00:00:00 | by SincerWritinAsh | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    150423

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Push written by JanePlane
    Hopelessly Blind written by ForgottenGraves
    Love Can Be... written by HAVENSMITH92
    Once Again written by krs3332003
    Date night written by expiring_touch
    4th Season of Vivaldi written by HisNameIsNoMore
    cleverly shunned written by CrypticBard
    One Thing written by Wolfwatching
    Skin of Fables written by ShadowParadox
    Wavelength written by saartha
    Linger written by saartha
    Munyonyo written by expiring_touch
    Red Barn written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Ten Poems written by Wolfwatching
    The Promise written by annie0888
    Incubus written by monad
    I will call out your name written by RisingSon
    Fathoms of the Lullaby Sea written by HisNameIsNoMore
    To the King written by HisNameIsNoMore
    It's been a while written by Sharati_hottie
    Trails written by Daniel Barlow
    In My Head written by faideddarkness
    Song written by Daniel Barlow
    Be Free written by hybridsongwrite
    Devils in the Details written by endlessgame23
    Transparent written by Daniel Barlow
    Life changes in a moment written by Ramneet
    To written by SavedDragon
    A Sonnet for Nina written by SavedDragon
    Our Cinder Crisis written by SavedDragon

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry