Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • ES Magazine
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • Video Tutorials
  • RolePlay
  • 90% off Amazon
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Concentrated Toxindots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Dimension_X
    ASL Info:    17/F/NJ
    Elite Ratio:    5.39 - 124/108/70
    Words: 236
    Class/Type: Rant/Serious
    Total Views: 198
    Average Vote:    4.0000
    Bytes: 1796



    Description:
       A rant I wrote in my first period Calc class based on recent events. the title is random.

    The world has really started to get to me.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsConcentrated Toxindots
    -------------------------------------------


    This place has filled me with such hatred,
    hypocrisy
    I hate it.
    I wish I could go back into my mind
    in euphoria and love.

    This town has raised its children
    with irresponsibility and over-confidence.
    I'm not quite too sure what they're all
    so damn confident about.

    Maybe how they're able to penetrate outsiders minds
    and convert others thinking into their own...

    I hate this.
    Moreso, I hate how I hate.
    I never wanted this.
    I've fought it off for as long as I possibly could.

    But it's toxic.
    Concentrated to the point of no return.
    It chokes you down.
    It's choking me down.
    I'm crossing my fingers for my return.
    Hoping that I can escape this town
    before it completely takes hold of me.

    I hear them in the corridor.
                "Oh my God, that's so gay."
    I want to get out.
                "You're so fucking retarded."
    Save me.
                "I can't belive he was that stupid."
    I'm losing it.
                "Haha, did you see that idiot?"

    I wonder,
    does the sky that looms above us
    know of the evils underneath?
    Why would the sun still shine on our demons?

    The birds circle over head as vultures over prey.
    But really,
    we are vultures on the ground.
    Slowly torturing our own kind.




    Submitted on 2007-10-01 09:45:35     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      hypocracy should be hypocrisy i think
    but i could be wrong
    _______
    I hate this.
    Moreso, I hate how I hate.
    I never wanted this.
    I've fought it off for as long as I possibly could.

    this is cool, semi deep and very self reflective...
    ______________

    The birds circle over head as vultures over prey.
    But really,
    we are vultures on the ground.
    Slowly torturing our own kind.

    i like this last bit very much
    its different and prettily gruesome, one of those thoughts that you cant help but probe like a sore on the roof of your mouth, or a loose tooth
    ______

    well done
    xoxo
    | Posted on 2007-10-01 00:00:00 | by blu_kittin | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    150427



    Full Anime Episodes Streaming Free
    5 million youtube videos all rated over 4.7 stars with 40+ ratings

    [ Copy this | Start New | Full Size ]

    Google
     

    [ Chrispian ] [ Write Forum ]
    [ Friends ] [ SNESroms ] .
    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry