[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: The Day of Forty-Four Sunsetsdots

    Author: manwithnoname
    ASL Info:    18/M/Ontario
    Elite Ratio:    5.84 - 314/278/117
    Words: 98
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 1182
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 648

       A fellow ES poet mentioned the book "The Little Prince" in their comment on one of my poems. I decided to read the book and see what it was like. It was such a good book, deep, philosophical (and it is a children's book!), and overall, beautiful. I decided to write a little poem based on something in the book. And here it is.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsThe Day of Forty-Four Sunsetsdots

    Only another stone's throw ahead
    And the red blush of the sun
    Will be cast upon your golden hair
    And starry sky laughter

    Forty-four times, the sun caught in
    A state of constant embarrassment
    For your eyes to perceive crimson beauty
    For your flower to forget herself for a moment
    For your extinct volcano to awaken
    For the baobabs to die of shame

    Crimson the falling plasma all day
    For you, prince, to hear
    The sound of five million springs
    Of fresh water
    And for the earthling man
    To look up and hear your laughter forever

    Submitted on 2007-10-01 13:59:20     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      This captivating piece is poetry in motion & the feeling of life & color is, as noted, magical.

    I believe that your committment to faith and Lord are enlivening your pieces and I am happy you are back to post!

    I remember the Little Prince & shall go in search of "IT" again for a nice fall read!

    love,peace,joy&smiles to share
    | Posted on 2007-10-17 00:00:00 | by Epiphany | [ Reply to This ]
      where is your punctuation? you really need it, otherwise the flow of the poem is very...well...it just doesn't flow well at all. i do like the imagery though.

    your linebreaks are normal and i think you should fix that. x)
    | Posted on 2007-10-16 00:00:00 | by Passy | [ Reply to This ]
      wow...i loved the imagery in this piece. it was really lovely the pictures you painted.

    My favorite part was

    "For your flower to forget herself for a moment"

    that's just so open to interpretation...like it could mean a young girl blushing when a guy flirts with her (which i took it as).

    i must admit however that i've never read this story, so maybe i'll check it out sometime...

    | Posted on 2007-10-14 00:00:00 | by Falling Rain | [ Reply to This ]
      Good imagry.

    My favorite was "Starry Sky Laughter" it worked so well in conjunction with the rest of the poem. Makes you realize that all of it is beautiful, even if it is dark. It's that little thing in the back of your mind that makes you say "Maybe", and you brought it out nicely.

    Wishing for more
    | Posted on 2007-10-11 00:00:00 | by Imadjinn | [ Reply to This ]
      That is a wonderful book, and your inspired poem captures it's magic quite well.
    I especially like 'starry sky laughter'.
    Nicely done.
    | Posted on 2007-10-11 00:00:00 | by latentlylyrical | [ Reply to This ]
      I had to look up baobab (a tree with a thick trunk and gourd like seeds) so, perhaps a more obvious allusion might be useful. Colourful and full of quite exquisite imagery which doesn't (for me) fully focus the meaning - but it sure sounds good on the tongue.
    | Posted on 2007-10-02 00:00:00 | by siradrian | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]