Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • ES Magazine
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • Video Tutorials
  • RolePlay
  • 90% off Amazon
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Inevitabilitydots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Dimension_X
    ASL Info:    17/F/NJ
    Elite Ratio:    5.43 - 124/107/68
    Words: 111
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 109
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 824



    Description:
       Something I came up with during Lit. There are parts I do not like, and parts that dont really make that much sense.

    I just wanted to put it up here for me to keep.

    Comments will be well appreciated.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsInevitabilitydots
    -------------------------------------------


    We've mapped out our lives.
    I've mapped out my life.
    ..or was that you?
    It was so long ago
    and now I'm just confused.

    Do I want to spend my years in this?
    Do I want to be indebted,
    for an unknown length?
    This is more than a risk.
    It's letting go completely.
    Trusting my future.
    Trusting the unknown.

    I'm walking on an invisible plank,
    not sure where it's leading.
    I've put my life on what could
    possibly be nothing.
    I've put myself...the world
    in danger.
    They don't know that though,
    with their applause and motivation.
    I can't let them down,
    though it's starting to seem
    inevitable.





    Submitted on 2007-10-03 09:59:30     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Well, I think that this poem was about how maybe your parents chose your path for you. And I kind of understand that, you're putting your trust in their hands. But that's all you're really saying, isn't it? You're not analyzing it or telling us about some resolution you're going to make. It's a good poem but it tells me nothing except what is happening. There is no further commentary, so what's the point of it?

    Do you see what I'm saying? All you really say is that you're worried but the whole world is watching you and so you have to perform, but that's an obvious thing. Nothing deeper.

    Hope this helps.
    | Posted on 2007-10-03 00:00:00 | by wordslinger | [ Reply to This ]



    Full Anime Episodes Streaming Free
    5 million youtube videos all rated over 4.7 stars with 40+ ratings

    [ Copy this | Start New | Full Size ]

    Google
     

    [ Chrispian ] [ Write Forum ]
    [ Friends ] [ SNESroms ] .
    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry
    This user has been inactive for more than 5 days.