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Author: Dimension_X
ASL Info:    17/F/NJ
Elite Ratio:    5.39 - 124 /108 /70
Words: 111
Class/Type: Poetry /Misc
Total Views: 973
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 824


Something I came up with during Lit. There are parts I do not like, and parts that dont really make that much sense.

I just wanted to put it up here for me to keep.

Comments will be well appreciated.


We've mapped out our lives.
I've mapped out my life.
..or was that you?
It was so long ago
and now I'm just confused.

Do I want to spend my years in this?
Do I want to be indebted,
for an unknown length?
This is more than a risk.
It's letting go completely.
Trusting my future.
Trusting the unknown.

I'm walking on an invisible plank,
not sure where it's leading.
I've put my life on what could
possibly be nothing.
I've put myself...the world
in danger.
They don't know that though,
with their applause and motivation.
I can't let them down,
though it's starting to seem

Submitted on 2007-10-03 09:59:30     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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  Well, I think that this poem was about how maybe your parents chose your path for you. And I kind of understand that, you're putting your trust in their hands. But that's all you're really saying, isn't it? You're not analyzing it or telling us about some resolution you're going to make. It's a good poem but it tells me nothing except what is happening. There is no further commentary, so what's the point of it?

Do you see what I'm saying? All you really say is that you're worried but the whole world is watching you and so you have to perform, but that's an obvious thing. Nothing deeper.

Hope this helps.
| Posted on 2007-10-03 00:00:00 | by wordslinger | [ Reply to This ]

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