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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: how dare you (I)dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: blu_kittin
    ASL Info:    20/F/Garden of Eden
    Elite Ratio:    6.15 - 711/397/207
    Words: 111
    Class/Type: Poetry/Lostfriend
    Total Views: 849
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 638



    Description:
       this is half directed at a friend who's obliviousness will surely make this the funniest thing if they ever read it, because they will fail to see themselves, and that is fine
    and it is also half written at me
    because i let myself do these things


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotshow dare you (I)dots
    -------------------------------------------


    cant handle this shit
    what do i submit
    how do i write
    when, and why?
    isnt it all so much more important when it comes from you
    mine is insignificant, and yours is worth years of worship on hand and knee
    i hate listening to your superficial deepness
    i dont like the way you look at us
    like you own every movement we make
    like you know better than we
    how dare you condescend to me
    how dare you even think to be
    the person that you are today

    how dare i even think to be
    the person that i am today
    i dont even know who i could be




    Submitted on 2007-10-03 13:06:10     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Ouch. But wow. But ouch. That one should be stinging for a few more days. You're so raw with your emotions. Its really nice reading something that (even if it is just a rant) is a genuine NOT MANUFACTURED feeling that you felt you should represent.

    And I'm sorry that someone made you feel that way. No one likes being objectified as the weaker of the two, especially in writing. Personally, I would say tell them to go to hell and remember that your voice is unique and quite crafty to have this piece under your belt. You should be proud.

    I think I'll have a look at some other stuff by you.

    Take care!
    | Posted on 2008-07-16 00:00:00 | by Celeste J. Bell | [ Reply to This ]
      Remind me not to cross our paths :)

    I can almost feel your anger and frustration in this piece, I've lost a few friends this way myself. like raivn said, Retract those claws. :)
    | Posted on 2007-11-01 00:00:00 | by Polydectes | [ Reply to This ]
      I can definately feel the emotion of this piece, and can relate to people being condescending toward me. I like the line about "superficial deepness". How about -superficial depth-
    just a thought.

    I think you could channel the emotion of this piece and write in more of a metaphor, or maybe in third person telling a brief story.
    Just another thought.

    I enjoyed the read.

    Nicely
    | Posted on 2007-10-11 00:00:00 | by nicelyJ | [ Reply to This ]
      eeek...

    Retract those claws, yo...

    It'll be okay.
    | Posted on 2007-10-03 00:00:00 | by Raivn | [ Reply to This ]


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