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Who dwells here?

Author: xXCptn_SephyXx
ASL Info:    22/f/PA
Elite Ratio:    2.65 - 46 /119 /104
Words: 160
Class/Type: Poetry /Misc
Total Views: 687
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 1117


Who dwells here?

What color is the room?
A feminine pink?
An elegant blue?
The room is naturally colorless.

There are no windows.
There are no doors.
There are neither people,
Nor bedroom floors.
Then why call it a room at all?

My friend,
I tell you this:
A room is a place,
A place where one dwells.

What, then, dwells?
The lingering euphoria or confinement.
The resting place for a slave,
A slave of the heart,
A prisoner of the mind.

The entrance can not be seen,
For the doorway has vanished long ago.
No respiration is needed,
For the windows, too, have been demolished.
The floor beneath is deep.
The only thing that remains is a soul,
Bound to the ceiling by chains,
Chains of emptiness.

How, then, does one enter?
Close those pale eyes,
Remain silent,
Let the lies and false affection mutilate,
Remember to feel nothing.
You are already there.

Submitted on 2007-10-04 10:11:04     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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  Wow. Each word holds so much power. I was a little confused at first, but as soon as I read the line, "How, then, does one enter?" I figured out how to get there. What a sick, sad place. ...I love it.
I'm half speechless, but I'm trying anyway, so I apologize if this comment is a bit of a mess.
But then again, I'm sure you already know that my "Crazy Train" of thought tends to go off the rails.

"The floor beneath is deep.
The only thing that remains is a soul,
Bound to the ceiling by chains,
Chains of emptiness."

Brilliant. That part stuck out to me for some reason. I'm not exactly sure why.

Anyway, good stuff.

| Posted on 2007-10-06 00:00:00 | by Razor2TheRosary | [ Reply to This ]
  wow, all i felt when reading that was "wow what has happened to her to hurt like this?"
you can feel the hurt and pain and dissapointment. I like the way it ends, but the way it starts, well it just kind make me think... uhhh colorless? And hmm okayyy?
well I like this. and thanks again.

| Posted on 2007-10-05 00:00:00 | by tainted-faerie | [ Reply to This ]
  Original and deeply sad. I like the use of colours in the first stanza and then the let down of that last line provokes mystery and tells the reader that he/she is in for something sad.

Couple of things:

'No respiration is needed,
For the windows, too, have been demolished. '

Seems contradictory, but maybe I just don't understand it, have a wee think about that one
Also, after that:

'Bound to the ceiling by chains,
Chains of emptiness.'

Chains just seem a bit cliché, I like the originality of the poem and if you could think of another descriptor, I think it'd probably work better.

The last stanza is horribly sad and is a great way to end, the seemingly unnecessary use of the word 'mutilate' really adds to the feel. Good choice of words in the last stanza.

| Posted on 2007-10-04 00:00:00 | by Camo Star | [ Reply to This ]
  The main feeling that I got from this piece was a sense of entrapment. There was a definitely theme of suffocation and vacuum. The way that nothingness sort of unravels the thread of everything real or solid is sort of frightening. Very provocative work.
| Posted on 2007-10-04 00:00:00 | by HaAtzmah | [ Reply to This ]

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