Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: into the golden madnessdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: atonement
    Elite Ratio:    2.71 - 106/186/98
    Words: 101
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 926
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 705



    Description:
       I just wrote, a lots been going on and I just wrote sorry if it makes no sense.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsinto the golden madnessdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Forget this confusion,
    emotions spiral around me,
    I try to muffle the frustrated screams,
    and asphyxiation calls,
    only to find the dial tone.

    I'm waiting for something major to happen,
    only to be flooded with the tiny twists & turns,
    that make my mentality and stomach churn.

    And I will be found
    lying on the ground,
    of the white room,
    with the paper doves
    and crumpled swans.

    This detour into madness,
    and grabs a hold on me,
    and the sanity drips
    from these pale fingertips
    to create golden puddles
    that will only become
    golden oceans.




    Submitted on 2007-10-04 21:40:53     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Its a wonderful poem, the words flowed nicely and though the rhyme scheme is inconsistant its written very well, I think some times things come out best when there not planned. I think you did a really good job, and I hope the confusion subsides soon.
    | Posted on 2007-10-07 00:00:00 | by ira | [ Reply to This ]
      This was written very well. I really didn't like the incinsistant rhyme scheme though. Other than that it was awesome. Keep up the awesome work, and I'll keep reading

    MinervaBlu
    | Posted on 2007-10-05 00:00:00 | by MinervaBlu | [ Reply to This ]
      its a good one. poe
    | Posted on 2007-10-05 00:00:00 | by poetotoe | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    150625

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.


    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry