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    dots Submission Name: Ariannadots

    Author: WolfStar
    ASL Info:    26/F/California
    Elite Ratio:    6.85 - 119/130/46
    Words: 58
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 846
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 430

       For the woman whose November eyes greet me every night. I love you.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.


    Eyes like November,
    burgundy belle,
    the facets of their crystalline droplets
    are velvet topaz flecked with green

    as I sit on a train,
    lay in a bed of anguish,
    November in my mind again,
    crisp and broken,
    falling gently over time unmoving.

    Fall from morning
    into fields and forests,
    into fallow fall;
    fall into me,

    Submitted on 2007-10-04 23:40:05     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
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    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      I know a girl named Ariana, she writes poems. I read the description before I understood the poem. In New Zealand we have spring in November, and fall is called autumn, anyway! I like the play on words in the last stanza.

    I really liked the description in the first stanza, but when I came across 'green' it seemed plain, it fits perfectly well, it just seems a bit plain. Burgundy is a nice word and 'belle' following it, I assume the belle is from Burgundy, I'm just guessing, I'm probably horribly wrong. Wait, it doesn't have a capital and 'November' does, it must be the colour! Yep but I think there's a better word than green.

    Hope she likes it.

    | Posted on 2007-10-05 00:00:00 | by Camo Star | [ Reply to This ]

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