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Roleplay | Viral news today | Music Theory

Poem That's Not Titled


Author: bubble_popper15
ASL Info:    17, f, confused
Elite Ratio:    4.13 - 201 /127 /45
Words: 100
Class/Type: Poetry /Love
Total Views: 1169
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 560



Description:

I wrote this poem in Science class. Give me some advice or something to finish this!


Poem That's Not Titled


I sit and think of you
I wonder what to do

I want you here with me
But, I know that cannot be

What on Earth would you do
If I honestly said I love you?

Would you turn me away
for saying what I had to say?

Or...

Would you give me a warm embrace
And thank me for saying it to my face?

I miss seeing your smile and hearing you laugh
But, sadly, those days have past
And, I wonder what I would have to do to bring them back.




Submitted on 2007-10-05 12:09:14     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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Comments


  I really enjoyed reading this poem. It felt as if you fell in love with someone, but you just could not be with them? Perhaps they were with another? Or...maybe you liked someone in your class and when you started a whole new year, you could not see them? Hm. This is just my interpretation. But, what I would do is get rid of the 'or..' part in your poem..it is kind of a distraction in the poem--I just re-read the write without this element, and I believe it reads better.

Other than that, a good write indeed.

~Steph.
| Posted on 2007-10-05 00:00:00 | by xXCptn_SephyXx | [ Reply to This ]


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