Out of order out of order
It’s the nature of disorder
And I’m standing by the border
Screaming oh how I adore her
Who is this and where are you
Inverted perversions
Diversion of truths
And still waiting
By the sunrise
For a shadow
To appear
An illusion of the soul
is
A figment of your fear
They’ve got pills
For the chills
Here’s a serum
For delirium
A Spoon full of sugar helps the medicine go down
A spoon full of sugar so your medicine goes down
A spoon full of sugar now your medicine goes down
Your medicine goes down
Your medicine goes down
Goes down
Down
Out of order out of order
It’s the devil not disorder
Cuz I’m standing on the sun
Overwhelmed with feeling numb
Despondent disillusionments
Dilution of common cold remedies
Mind fuck mansions
House the skeletons
With the secrets
Of the week
House hold martyrs
Playground gods
All congregate
To kill the moon
To kill the sun
To kill the stars
To kill the soul
gah!
i havent read you for the longest time and while theres something slighty missing somehow this is still you and only you can be so blunt and outright without sounding emo or stupid.
the first stanza with the rhyming was interesting. i didnt even notice the rhyme until the third line and then i forgot to notice for the fourth
theres always conflict of some sort or other in your writings and this isnt any different...
who is this and where are you sets the confusion ball rolling and the strength escalates.
the devil makes his feature... i dont think i remember a piece of yours that doesnt have god or the devil in it... a trademark of sorts...
the skeleton stanza... that ends with 'week'
is that a play on words? coz i would have expected it to end with 'weak' though 'week' works too...
the fading out of fear at the end is good... its like an echo that doesnt let up and given time, space and reader patience i think you could have repeated it a few more times.
im typing one handed and its frustrating so im gonna stop.
nice to read you again dude
Submission Name: disordered
