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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: The Sunflowers Remaindots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Katherine_Music
    ASL Info:    21/F/NC
    Elite Ratio:    3.38 - 17/18/11
    Words: 61
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 616
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 404



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsThe Sunflowers Remaindots
    -------------------------------------------


    Sunlight pours in
    through the window
    a natural glow
    surrounds my face.
    A glimmer of hope
    twinkles in my eyes
    a halo of light
    encircles my head.
    Nothing but me
    and the sunflowers
    left in this place.
    I look up at the sky
    and wish for the rain
    to fall on my face
    and let my hope reign.
    8-18-07




    Submitted on 2007-10-07 12:52:16     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      this is really beautiful. I adore imagery that involves flowers of any type, and the use of sunflowers was a new and fresh approach--at least to me. The title really drew me in. Even before I read the poem, I had a lasting and poignant image of a sunflower standing tall, beautiful and strong in the face of destruction around it. Beautiful write, though I do agree with orange's comment on the flow but I'm not exactly sure if punctuation changes will really make much a difference. I would just make everything lower case, and do away with all punctuation and leave the flow up to the reader.

    Cheers,

    Lady
    | Posted on 2007-12-09 00:00:00 | by LadyChaos | [ Reply to This ]
      I would have to agree with orange in some ways but really enjoyed your play on words. Perhaps a second look at this and a few adjustments would make it even better....stormy
    | Posted on 2007-10-09 00:00:00 | by stormyskies | [ Reply to This ]
      I like the idea behind this, but the flow is a bit off. I think, however, that this may be improved by simple punctuation. Something to this effect:

    Sunlight pours in
    through the window[, or ;]
    a natural glow
    surrounds my face.
    A glimmer of hope
    twinkles in my eyes[, or ;]
    a halo of light
    encircles my head.
    [insert stanza break here]
    Nothing but me
    and the sunflowers
    left in this place.
    [insert stanza break here]
    I look up at the sky
    and wish for the rain
    to fall on my face
    and let my hope reign.

    ~orange
    | Posted on 2007-10-08 00:00:00 | by orange | [ Reply to This ]


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